


O, Death

by Sakurafox666



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Death, Gen, M/M, Protective Castiel, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-12
Updated: 2013-04-13
Packaged: 2017-12-08 05:52:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 12
Words: 38,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/757820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sakurafox666/pseuds/Sakurafox666
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Love is forever; death can only slow it down. Dean/Cas. Set after 6.11 "Appointment in Samarra".</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. O, Death

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: This story was written ages ago when I was still new to writing and fanfiction in general, so prepare for bad writing techniques and all the hilarity that entails.
> 
> Music: And yes, the title from this story is from the song O, Death. The version and lyrics that kinda inspired this story are by Rani Arbo & Daisy Mayhem on their CD Gambling Eden. You can get it on iTunes or probably find it on YouTube. It's what I was listening to as I wrote chapter 1.

* * *

Sam had never seen Castiel show any type of strong emotion. Well, yes he had seen severe depression and disappointment after the angel had learned that God wanted nothing to do with Earth and helping them try to defeat Lucifer. But he had never seen volatile or passionate, that had been saved for Dean.

And now that Sam thought back on it, he would have given anything for it to stay that way.

* * *

_One year after Sam's soul had been dragged out of the Cage and back into his body they were still fighting. Nothing different had been expected. Dean had just been happy to have his baby brother back and Sam was happy to see Dean happy._

_When he had told Dean to go off and live that apple pie life he had meant it, because that was what Dean had always wanted. It was what both of them had ever wanted. Sam had gotten a taste of it in college and with Jess, now it was Dean's turn with Lisa and Ben. And while it was what Dean wanted, Sam now saw it wasn't what he needed. He needed to be a hunter, traveling constantly, staying nowhere long, killing monsters. He had been raised that way and it was impossible to change instinct. He could learn new abilities, like being a father to Ben, but Dean couldn't changed his desire to hunt and Sam knew that now. Because it was the same with him. Dean also needed him, and he needed Dean. They were each other's greatest strength and greatest weakness, and they didn't care._

_Sam had also started to realize that Dean needed one other thing now; Castiel. His angel. A younger version of Sam might have laughed and teased his older brother about this, but after seeing Dean come back from Hell, he wouldn't dare. Cas was one thing Dean had never had before; a friend. There were two types of allies in the world of Hunting: family and fellow hunters. That was it. You didn't really get friends. Fellow hunters were just comrades who could die any day. If they were closer than that to you, they were family. Like Bobby, Ellen, and Joe. Castiel was none of these. At first he was Dean's guide and protector but after his powers started diminishing their relationship had changed. Sam was glad, Dean needed a friend and Cas probably did too._

_"Yo Sammy!" Sam's head snapped back from where it had been pressed up against the window of the Impala. He looked over a Dean who was grinning, "Spacing out, bitch?"_

_"Jerk." Sam grumbled but smiled despite himself. The past year had been hard, but it had been nice too. The brothers had grown the closest Sam could ever remember. No soulless Sam, no apocalypse. Just them; hunting and fighting._

_There was still the civil war Castiel was fighting with Raphael but he refused to let Sam and Dean get involved. Dean was furious about it, but Sam was secretly glad. Last thing he wanted was more angel shit to deal with. Besides, they had to search for Death about the whole "stealing/buying souls" thing for bailing Sam out of the Cage. Which reminded him..._

_"So Dean," Sam started, clearing his throat, "what did Bobby say about this place we're going to?" Dean glanced over to him and rolled his eyes._

_"According to Bobby's contact some shady stuff been going down at this farm. Ten people from the town next to it have slipped into a coma for no apparent reason. And there have been reports of late night bonfires and weird noises coming from this place."_

_"You thinking demons?" Sam asked._

_"Either that or some really fucked up humans." his brother replied, "Probably not angels though, they tend to do things behind the scenes. They'd never be this open."_

_"If its demons then no problem," Sam muttered, "we gank the suckers. But if its humans...?"_

_"Then we'll get to that when it comes." Dean gave him his patent devil-may-care grin and it was Sam's turn to roll his eyes, "Besides, we're just going to check it out right now. Nobody'll be there at 11 in the morning. We'll look around, get a scope of th' place and then come back tonight to see what exactly these bastards are up to."_

_Sam saw in the distance a small house with a barn about a hundred yards away come in to view and gave a smile of his own._

_"Sounds good to me, man."_

_They stopped about a fourth of a mile away from the barn and got out there. Dean popped the trunk and Sam grabbed Ruby's blade, some holy water, and a shot gun loaded with salt. He saw Dean grab his favorite gun and another bottle of holy water. Sam looked down to the case where he knew the Colt was at._

_"You think we'll need it?" he gestured and Dean shook his head._

_"Nah, nothing's going to happen—or nothing that'll warrant that." Sam nodded, and it made sense. He was just over-thinking it. A silvery glint caught his eyes and he quickly stopped him older brother from closing the trunk._

_"What's this?" he asked a pulled out an angel blade, exactly like the one Castiel had, "Dude, what?" Sam shot the other hunter a raised eyebrow, "You know we can't actually use this to kill angels, right? The whole 'only an angel can kill an angel' crap? Although I guess it does make a good ordinary blade—"_

_"It's the blade I killed Zach with." Dean said shortly. Oh yeah, how could Sam have forgotten? Besides the fact he'd been on the floor half passed out._

_"That's right! You ever talk to Cas about that, man?" Sam put the blade back and saw Dean's eyes travel with it._

_"Nope. Didn't see any reason to." Dean answered, "I figure it's 'cus Michael was in the middle of possessing me and so I had some of his angel mojo in me at the time."_

_Sam scowled at his brother and while yes, it did make sense, Sam felt it might be something more. Next time he got the chance he was going to ask Castiel, whether Dean wanted him to or not._

_"C'mon man, what does it matter now? We're not going to fight angels." the older hunter pressed and Sam related, letting the subject drop. The two brothers turned from the car and walked quickly and quietly through the half-grown corn field up to where the large barn was, "We'll search the barn first because it's large and is our best bet to where these suckers are spouting out their voodoo." Dean whispered._

_"The house second," Sam continued, "and see if they have a cellar, another good spot to summon a demon or keep souls."_

_They weren't really sure what they were looking for. If they could find any information on souls then great, but if not they could always just destroy whatever demonic or witchcraft stuff was going on because this definitely felt supernatural to Sam._

_They scoped the outside of the barn quick enough and there was nothing out of the ordinary, but when they picked the lock on the doors and slipped inside they hit pay dirt. Bizarre symbols from at least ten different religions, as far as Sam could tell, were carved and painted onto the walls and in the center was a huge magical rune with candles, blood—the whole shebang._

_"Shit." Dean cursed softly and Sam took out his cell phone, snapping a picture of the rune in the center. His brother shot him a bewildered look and Sam rolled his eyes._

_"To send to Bobby." he sighed and did just that. Hopefully he could take a look at it and figure out what the hell they were getting in to._

_"Well, certainly demonic." Dean said as he glanced over a table that was pushed up against a wall, a whole manner of things piled on top of it. Some magical, some not. There was more blood on it too, "But is this the work of demons or people?" Sam moved over to look at some of the books while Dean went closer to the rune circle, bending down to look at the candles._

_"From what I can tell," Sam said after a minute of flipping through the first book he'd seen, "is that this is definitely about souls. More so about ripping them out of people from a great distance."_

_"That would explain the people in the city." Dean said._

_"Yeah but it's way more than that, the ritual needed to do this is insane. I can't make out half the stuff required."_

_"I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say blood Sammy."_

_"Shut up Dean, its not just any blood." Sam sighed, "There has to be something special about it, I-I just can't make it out."_

_"Bring the book then." Dean suggested, "I've seen all I needed, we'll come back tonight to figure out if this is a human or demon's work."_

_"_ _**Or maybe it's both** _ _."_

_Both Dean and Sam spun around to the front of the barn where three men and a woman now stood. Of course their eyes were pitch black and they had to be demons. Sam pulled out his gun without a moment's hesitation and fired at the group. Salt should make them back off and if he could get close enough he'd murder every single one with Ruby's knife. Unfortunately the woman stepped forward right as Sam was pulling the trigger and yelled something out and the front of Sam's gun exploded._

_He screamed as he dropped the weapon, his hand burnt, and fell back._

_"SAM!" Dean yelled and made to move over but the woman yelled again and an invisible force seemed to kick his brother and sent him crashing to the ground._

_"_ _**I wouldn't do that human** _ _." one of the male demons said as he stepped up next to the woman, "_ _**My girl here is possessing a witch** _ _."_

_Crap._

_"Bullshit," Dean snorted, "a witch would know better, she would protect herself!"_

_Not necessarily, Sam thought. Small time witches who didn't really know what they were getting into could easily be tricked, but this one was powerful and she would know, or she should._

_"_ _**Hey look, the human has some brains** _ _." another male snickered, "_ _**Too bad it doesn't matter.** _ _"_

_"_ _**You're right, hunter** _ _." the woman said, "_ _**My host does know better, but when someone invites you in to their body...** _ _"_

_So that's what they meant by both human and demons. Human's freely allowing a demon to posses their body, especially a witch was dangerous. Sometimes, if a human was strong enough, they could fight a demon's control, or at least distract it. This wouldn't be the case if they let a demon possess them._

_"So then what are you up to?" Dean asked, not getting up, making the demons feel like they had the upper hand. Which they did, but Sam knew his brother was also trying to get information out of them._

_"_ _**Oh, I think you already know** _ _." the lead male said, "_ _**Don't think we don't know who you are Winchester. We heard you two were looking into souls. Looks like even humans know where the market's at right now!** _ _"_

_"Market?" Dean gritted his teeth, " You're also grabbing souls then? To sell them where? What can souls do?"_

_All the demons laughed at this and Sam felt his hackles rise, how dare they laugh at his brother! He pushed down the dark urge to rip one's throat open and drink their blood so he could tear apart the rest._

_"_ _**And here human stupidity reigns! What can't a soul do?** _ _" the female laughed, "_ _**You two should know better than anyone, but you don't because that's just how moronic you are!** _ _" Sam couldn't stand it anymore._

_"Shut the hell up!" he yelled and stood back up, unsheathing his knife and was glad to see the look of fear that came into the demons eyes._

_"_ _**Oh look, kitty's got claws** _ _." the lead male smirked after a second. He turned to the female and stroked her hair, "_ _**How about we take pity on these humans and show them exactly what a soul can do?** _ _"_

_"_ _**I like the sound of that** _ _." the woman said and took out a blade of her own, stabbing straight through her hand. Sam and Dean both blinked and looked at each other confusedly for a second before the blade started to glow and the woman started a chant. The ground shook and Sam widened his stance to compensate, looking around for whatever would be coming. Then he remembered the rune circle, where Dean was laying._

_"Dean!" he yelled as he turned and sure enough the rune sigils had started to glow as Dean stared down at it between where his fingers dug into the earth, "Dean, move!"_

_"I can't." And there was cold fear in his brother's voice that Sam hadn't heard in a long time. His body moved on its own to grab his brother but a force knocked his down and he saw the other two male demons had tackled him._

_"Dean!" Sam screamed and flailed, trying to stab one of the demon but the blade was knocked out of his hands. He grabbed the holy water with his burnt one and smashed it against the closest demon, yelling as it stung his wound but glad as the demon screamed in pain and released him, bumping into the other one._

_Sam scrambled up and raced towards him brother, who he could tell was struggling from his sprawled position from where he'd fallen. Before he could enter into the circle though the runes burst with light and pushed him back and Sam fell, where he was grabbed by the other two demons again._

_Dammit this was getting him nowhere! Tendrils of light were seeping out of the circle now and most were heading towards his brother. There was only one thing left._

_"Dean! Call Cas!" Sam yelled and his brother's gaze snapped up and met his. Sam would call Cas himself but the angel always seemed to come quicker if Dean called._

_"Cas!" Dean shouted, "Cas get down here! No playing around, this is seri—" He was stopped abruptly by the lead demon, who had walked into the circle and clamped his hand around Dean's mouth._

_"_ _**No calling your angelic boyfriend now.** _ _" he chided, "_ _**That would ruin the fun!** _ _"_

_Sam prayed then, prayed that Castiel would listen to him because he would only be able to get out a few words. He and Castiel weren't nearly as close as the angel and Dean were but Sam considered Cas a friend and hoped Castiel thought the same of him._

_"Cas!" Sam yelled, "Dean's dying!" And while that wasn't strictly true, he very well could be. Sam wasn't sure what would happen once the spell was complete and he never wanted to._

_And damn if that wasn't the fastest way to get the angel down to Earth._

_The lights at the top of the barn burst and crackled with energy and the slight wind the spell had been churning up increased tenfold. One of the demons slammed Sam hard in the stomach so that he coughed up blood but it was worth it to see a familiar tan trench coat figure appear at the back of the room. Sam had never seen Castiel look as angry as he did then, his coat and hair swirling in the wind, his eyes an electric blue._

_And that was when Sam saw the wings. Or rather, the shadow of Castiel's wings. They were massive and fierce, flared as if in warning. When Dean had explained them to Sam he didn't do nearly the justice they deserved._

_"Release him." And Sam could see the advantages of Castiel's rough voice instead of Jimmy's. The demons were no longer laughing or smiling._

_The lead demon, who still was holding Dean's face, looked angry but not scared._

_"_ _**Such an inconvenience** _ _." he sighed and then charged at the angel._

_Sam renewed his struggle against the two demons holding him down and spotted his knife a few feet away. He lashed out with his foot and caught one demon in the face and threw the other one over his head and to the floor. Some times being tall and big had its uses. Sam snatched his knife and buried it deep into the chest of the demon he'd thrown. There was a spark of light and a snap of power and then the body stilled._

_"Cas!" he heard Dean call and looked up to where the angel and head demon were fighting. Seeing as the demon was still alive against Castiel, Sam figured he must be stronger than a normal demon._

_Castiel looked over to Dean and gave him a curt nod, "Hello Dean," His usual greeting and Sam almost laughed, "I'll be with you momentarily."_

_Sam was knocked over again by the other demon and lashed out with his blade, catching the monster's shoulder and it leapt back with a hiss as blood flowed out of the wound._

_"Sam!" he heard Castiel called out, "You must take out the witch!"_

_And no shit Sherlock, but Sam knew Castiel was just trying to help. The demon charged at him and Sam dodged to the side, swiping with the knife at the exposed back but the demon dropped and rolled away. Sam ran to kick him in the-_

_**CRACK!** _

_The center of the rune circle had split open and if the shaking in the ground was any indication, something massive was trying to break through. They were running out of time._

_Sam threw caution to the wind and literally flung his body at the demon, smashing into it and throwing it to the ground. The younger hunter rolled up and swung him blade down, deep into the stomach of the demon taking deep satisfaction as the creature twitched and died. Usually he felt pity for the humans inside but not this time, these humans let themselves be taken._

_He had to save Dean now. Sam looked back to where Castiel was and saw the angel dodge one blow and then smash his fist into the demon's. Right, Cas was good. Now to kill the demon bitch. Sam charged at her but the demon snapped her fingers with her free hand and he felt white heat lash at him and send him flying into the wall._

_She could cast more than one spell at a time? What the hell!_

_"Sam stay down!" Dean yelled at him, "She's too much!"_

_"Fuck you Dean, I'm not going to just sit here and watch her!" Sam shouted back as he struggled up, "You'd do the same thing!"_

_"Sam!" But Sam blocked out the rest of what his brother was trying to say and charged again but he was blasted back by the same attack._

_Fine if that didn't work._

_Sam switched his grip oh his blade and threw it with all his might. Unfortunately since it was his left hand, as his main one was basically useless now, his aim was off and buried itself in her leg. The demon gasped and fell onto her knee but then continued with the chant but it was then Sam realized she couldn't move and if that was so..._

_Sam started his own chant, of exorcism._

_Before he could finish though (why did it have to be so long?) the demon sent another blast at him and sent him crashing against the wall again._

_"Bitch!" he screamed and was about to charge again, because why the hell not, when there was an unearthly scream from the back. Sam turned to where Castiel and the demon where fighting but all he saw was the charred corpse of the demon. He turned back to the female except Castiel was there, a grip on her throat as he lifted her into the air, cutting off the chant._

_"And now you die." the angel growled but the bitch only laughed._

_"_ _**Fine by me, you're t-too late anyways** _ _." There was a flash of light suddenly from the center of the circle and Sam knew something bad was about to happen._

_"Sam! The shield is down, grab Dean!" Castiel yelled and Sam was already running. Dean wasn't exactly in the center of the circle, he was a little off to the side, Sam hoped that gave him more time._

_"Dean!' Sam yelled as got closer. Dean suddenly didn't seem paralyzed and jerked, turning towards Sam. He got up and stared down at the center of the circle, his eyes shimmering with something, and a large, ghostly skeletal hand shot through his chest._

_"DEAN!"_

_The hand had come from the center of the circle and went straight through Dean like he was air, and then it just melted away and Dean's knees buckled and hit the floor. Sam was screaming when a white light burst from the ground and sent him flying. The wind was raging and thunder could be heard. Sam hit the ground and blacked out._

_When he opened his eyes again the first thing Sam was aware of was the pain in his hand and chest. He rolled over and saw the demon witch a few feet away, her eyes burned out of her sockets, and very dead. Cas?_

_"DEAN!"_

_Sam spun towards the center of the room. Oh god, his brother..._

_What he saw made his mouth go dry. Castiel was leaning over Dean, one hand on his right shoulder gripping him tight, and the other cradling his head. The angel was shouting his name and shaking him, looking stricken._

_And he was crying._

_Sam had never seen Castiel show any type of strong emotion. Sure, he had seen the severe depression and disappointment after the angel had learned that God wanted nothing to do with Earth, but he had never seen anything volatile or passionate, that had always been saved for Dean._

_The young hunter got up on shaky legs and stumbled over to his brother's body. Dean looked fine, there wasn't a scratch on him, he should be getting up right now and telling them he was ok, it had been close but the spell must've not worked and then start laughing. He should be..._

_"Dean?" Sam couldn't help the plea his voice as he grabbed his brother's shirt, wanting to shake him like Castiel had. Wait a minute, he and Dean had died before. Dean's soul must be in Heaven now, all Cas had to do was grab it and put it back in his body!_

_"Cas what're you waiting for?" Sam said, swallowing back tears, there was no reason to cry, "Go grab Dean's soul from Heaven and bring it back down here!"_

_But there was something wrong, because wouldn't Castiel have already done that if he could? Something cold and ugly settled in Sam's stomach._

_"Cas?" he asked, sounding pathetic._

_"I-I can't—" the angel stuttered and Sam had never heard him like this before, "Sam his soul, is—it's gone. I c-can't, I can't sense it anywhere and that should be impossible. We-we're tied, our bond..." Castiel paused and placed his forehead on Dean's. Sam's tears came then, silently, "I can feel his soul anywhere in Heaven, Hell, or Earth. I can-I should, but it's gone now. Th-there's nothing Sam, they destroyed his soul-" he couldn't continue and Sam didn't blame him because something had just hit him, and hit him hard._

_Castiel loved his brother._

_It probably wasn't in any way he or Dean could understand, and he hadn't shown it in a traditional manner but Sam could see it in the angel's eyes now. Heartbreak._

_Sam cried loudly now, he couldn't help it. There was nothing he could do now. You can't bring back a person if there's nothing to bring back. There was nothing now. Everything that Dean had been was gone. Only an empty shell of a body that an angel and his younger brother clung to desperately._

* * *

Sam drove down the long highway, trying to shake off his dark thoughts.

"Sam?" Sam looked at his passenger who sat next to him.

"Yeah Cas?" he asked.

After Dean's death Castiel had left Heaven. Not fallen, like last time, but cut his ties, much like Gabriel had so he had got to keep his powers. It didn't matter anymore if Raphael won, they couldn't restart the apocalypse with Dean dead. So Castiel had left and joined with Sam, swearing to never leave the younger man's side. Sam understood why, it was how the angel was honoring Dean, by protecting his younger brother. Sam didn't have the heart to refuse and it's not like that would have stopped Castiel anyways. The angel was as stubborn as Dean, a trait Sam was fairly certain Dean had given the angel.

They had burned the body at Bobby's house because it was the closest place they ever had to a home. Sam had cried like the girl Dean always said he was while Castiel hadn't said a word the entire day, or the next. Bobby had gotten completely shitfaced and then had cried like a baby while hugging Sam.

Now Sam and Castiel traveled together, driving and hunting across the States. Castiel didn't teleport as much anymore, usually opting to drive with Sam.

"You seemed to be drifting," the angel said, "do we need to stop and rest?"

"No, it's ok. Just got a bit distracted, sorry." Sam gave a quick grin and focused back on the road.

They still had a mission. Sam was hell-bent now on figuring out what this big thing with souls was. Maybe if he could figure something out he'd learned what happened to Dean's soul, or at least how it had been destroyed.

He had to, it was all he had left now.

He would find out everything about souls, then confront Death about it. Why had he sent them on this mission? And if he wasn't happy with the answer...he would simply kill Death.

* * *

 


	2. Disconnect and Self-Destruct

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: The title of this chapter is that of some lyrics in The Outsider by a Perfect Circle. Look it up, good song and what I was listening to while writing this chapter.

Death walked quickly down the hallway.  _His_  hallway. This was his domain and no one else, besides himself and those he chose, could see or pass through them. He was a busy man, after all, and needed to get around without the prying looks of angels or the meaningless interference from demons. Besides, there were far more important things on his mind.

Things were coming to pass that were getting even his attention, and that  _rarely_ happened.

So many pressing matters to attend, and although time was hardly an issue it could still be a hassle. And he'd  _really_ been hoping to try that new place in Italy; apparently their lasagna was to  _die_ for, and he was always the perfect man to put that to the test.

But back to the here and now, good food would have to wait. Death opened a door to a room.

"Aries!" he called out, "There is work I have for you."

* * *

_It was like, being on the edge of a dream. Disconnected from your body yet still aware of...something. It was knowing something was off but not being able to care. An odd sensation, to say the least._

"Hey."

_He should be doing something, or remembering something. Something...anything. It should be driving him mad, but it didn't. He couldn't seem to work himself up to that._

"Hey!"

_What?_

"HEY!"

A man jerked up from where he was laying and looked around. Standing in front of him was a young person, messy black hair and bright green eyes.

"'Sup?" they greeted and saluted, "Wasn't sure if you were gonna snap outta it."

"Sorry." the man apologized then blinked.  _That_  was his voice? It was so deep! And kinda rough, "Sorry." he tried again, lightening and softening his voice slightly. That was better, still manly, but not aggressively so.

"No big." the person waved a hand, "So, I'm gonna guess you have a lot of questions, right?" They raised their eyebrows and smirked, "Like,  _'what's it all mean?_ ' and  _'Am I in heaven?_ '"

"It looks like I'm in bed." the man said. Yeah, this was a bed. In a room. A very plain room with literally just a bed in it, and the bed was plain too. Boring.

_But why was it boring?_

The other person cocked their head to the side, looking confused and stared at the man intently. For some reason the young man had no problem holding their unblinking gaze, it didn't bother him the slightest.

"Well, yes, you're in bed." the other person said slowly, "But, don't you have  _any_ questions?"

"I guess just one." the man admitted.

"I knew it!" the person said gleefully, "There's always  _the_  question." The man nodded thoughtfully, that made sense if everybody woke up here like him.

"Who am I?" he asked. The person opened their mouth to answer, then did a double take.

"Wait, _what?_ "

* * *

"I know, I know how crazy it sounds, but I'm just tellin' you what I heard." Bobby Singer sighed and took a long drink from his beer. Next to him stood a very cross looking Sam, his beer untouched. If Bobby had to guess, he'd say he was facing Sam's 'Bitchface #5', but he couldn't be sure. Only Dean had known every single one.

"You're saying that  _angels_  have been acting up again?" Sam asked.

"That's what I've  _heard_." Bobby stressed, "You mean to say Castiel hasn't noticed anything?"

"No." Sam muttered and looked towards the direction of the backyard, where Castiel usually was when they came over to Bobby's, "He says he doesn't listen as closely anymore, but if it were big he'd know."

"Which could mean it's a small faction, not part of Raphael's." Bobby mused, "Or they're keeping things  _real_  quiet."

Sam grimaced and Bobby understood, neither option was great but if they had to choose, he'd pick the former.

"Do you know what they're trying to do?" Sam asked after a moment and Bobby hesitated.

"From what I can tell," he started slowly, "seems to be about souls."

Sam cursed loudly.

Bobby sighed and rubbed his temples with a hand. They were going in circles when it came to the whole soul craze that seemed to have hit the supernatural. What information they did have was sketchy at best, the only thing that everyone seemed to know was that souls were in high demand among the elite. They held some sort of power no one else knew about.

And now the angels were getting involved. Just fucking great.

"At least you can handle any angels that come your way." Bobby tried, "Who knows, you might be able to catch one of the bastards and get some decent information from him." He could see Sam mull over that and finally shrug.

"Worth a shot," he conceded, "I'll ask Cas about it."

"Sounds good." Bobby nodded, "How's the talk with Death going? Able to set up a meeting yet?"

" _No._ " Sam ran a hand through his hair, "We can't even find him! Cas has tried questioning some Reapers but they're all tightlipped about it and when I got a doctor to put me under nothing came to me, no Reaper or Death, nothing! From what Cas has told me, the fact that Dean was able to talk to him just once was a miracle, let alone twice."

"Well, that's Dean." Bobby chuckled, but it died quickly, "He seemed to have a way with powerful entities."

"Yeah." Sam agreed and gave a half-smile, "But Cas says to keep it up. He's been noticing some odd behavior in Reapers lately, isn't sure what it means."

"I'm sure its connected to this whole 'souls' thing." Bobby put his empty drink down, "I mean, they are  _Soul_  Reapers, its kinda their job to deal with them. This new craze for souls must be putting a strain on the Reapers, could be why Death sent you to look into things."

"I dunno, man, maybe." Sam sighed and leaned back against the wall, "It's just..."

"Hey, why don't you just rest for right now." Bobby interrupted gently, "You go find Castiel and I'll throw a couple 'o steaks on that old grill. Better than drive-thru food, right?" Sam gave a small smile.

"Yeah, thanks Bobby."

"Idjit." Bobby said good-naturedly and watched and Sam walked off to the back of the house.

"Cas!" Sam called out and then quickly hushed himself as he found the angel kneeling in front of Dean's grave. Castiel spent normally all his time out here when Sam came over to see Bobby, even though it was just a simple headstone with Dean's ashes in an urn.

Mostly the angel just sat there, silently, but sometimes Sam heard him talking, and once he'd found Castiel singing.

Which, yeah, talk about  _weird_.

Cas' voice completely changed when he sang, no longer rough and deep but smooth and soft. It had caught Sam completely off-guard but the more he'd listened the more it had touched him, and he'd ended up sitting there for three hours before Bobby had come out looking for him. He couldn't even understand what the angel was singing, it was in Enochian, but he did recognize one phrase repeated;  _bien iadpil_.

He'd never asked Castiel what it had meant.

And the angel was singing again. It was so soft but Sam could hear it clearly from over ten feet away, he figured it must have something to do with Castiel's Grace. Dean had said his true voice was powerful. It was also quiet beautiful.

Sam turned around, deciding dinner wasn't worth interrupting an angel that didn't eat.

"I know you are there, Sam." Castiel said, his voice relatively normal, but still soft.

"Sorry to bother you." Sam quickly apologized, "Bobby just said he was going to make dinner, I-uh, sorry."

"It's fine." the angel stood up and turned to Sam, "I will join you two for dinner, I can tell Bobby is worried about me. He is worried about both of us."

"I know." Sam sighed, "But he doesn't need to be-"

"About me, maybe." Castiel interrupted, his near-permanent frown deepening, "I don't need to sleep or eat, but  _you_ do Sam, and you've been neglecting to do so. I have noticed your physique slightly deteriorate within the past year."

Sam chuckled humorlessly and crossed his arms, "If that's your way of saying I've lost weight then yeah, maybe I have, but there's so much going on Cas." Sam walked up to the angel and glared down at him, "We've got a mission from Death: to find out what's going on with people's souls, why they're being taken! This is big, man, bigger than the apocalypse. I mean,  _everybody_ is looking into it now, even angels!" Castiel's eyes flashed at the mention of his brothers, but he remained silent, "It doesn't matter if I loose some sleep or don't eat three square meals a day, what matters is finding out why these souls are being taken, or destroyed-or whatever is happening to them!  _That's what matters!_ Finding out why Dean is dead matters! I thought you understood that Cas-"

In a flash the angel had Sam pinned against the wall. Hand pressed on his chest, glaring up. It would have looked odd to a passerby, at Castiel's slight figure holding the much larger frame of Sam's, but the young man could feel the angel's inhuman strength. It was like a steel beam crushing his chest.

" _Of course I understand._ " Castiel whispered, his eyes practically glowing. His face wasn't so much angry as frustrated, "I do Sam, believe me, but I refuse to see you self-destruct like this. I promised myself to watch over you, and that takes precedence over everything; even the answer to Dean's death."

Sometimes it just really hit Sam how loyal Castiel was to Dean. He had privately thought after first meeting the angel why God would send Castiel to guide Dean, when there were more powerful angels (like archangels) and Castiel seemed relatively low on the angel totem pole, but now he understood: there were no angels as loyal or as dedicated as Cas.

And it made arguing with him on this point that much more futile. Sam slumped his shoulders and hung his head, feeling like an idiot. Blowing up at his friend and slowly starving himself to death wasn't going to do anyone any good.

"Sorry Cas." Sam mumbled. The crushing force against his chest stopped but the hand remained. Castiel looked pained, and still slightly frustrated, though more at himself.

"As am I Sam. Try to understand, I find it difficult to deal with strong emotions without lashing out myself, or, as you've seen before, doing some of my own self-destruction. I am attempting not to repeat past mistakes."

"Like drinking an entire liquor store?" Sam joked, giving a small smile. Castiel finally put his hand down and had the decency to look ashamed.

"Indeed. And also to not forget what is truly important." Sam frowned.

"What do you mean by that?"

"It's-" Castiel looked away suddenly, his voice faltering, "with the war in Heaven, I left.  _Completely_. After you were gone and I had healed Dean...I was-was not thinking clearly, perhaps. I was happy to have my powers restored, my control back in place. I wanted to return to Heaven, regardless of what it looked like so badly that I made my first mistake; I left."

"But Dean said you had to." Sam said, "Total anarchy in Heaven and whatnot."

"But I didn't have to leave right  _then_ , not with Dean the way he was." Castiel stressed, "And then I never even checked in, not once. Not until he actually called me, after you two had found each other again. That-that should not have happened, I shouldn't have made him think he was alone. I-I was too focused on the war. Thought  _everything_ hung in the balance, that I  _had_ to defeat Raphael...that everything else came second. So...I ignored you two. Unless your calls were related to Heaven in some way, I distanced myself. I did things I regret, killed more of my brothers fighting  _for_ Heaven than I ever did rebelling against it. I thought I was doing what I had learned from Dean: putting family first _. But I wasn't."_  And Castiel sounded horribly bitter.

"It was all politics and numbers up there. Who had the most soldiers, who had more weapons. My brothers stopped being family long ago, but it took me too long to recognize. Its cold up there Sam, colder than I remembered, but I thought I was home so it didn't matter. And then, I got your prayer, the one that said Dean was dying-I hadn't even realized because I closed off our link temporarily!-and it was as if everything else faded. I was used to murky waters by this point, not really sure what my goal was to win the war, or how, but suddenly, for the first time in so long, I knew what I had to do. I had to protect Dean-" His voice finally broke and Sam wasn't surprised, this was the most he had ever head Castiel speak.  _Ever_.

"Cas-" he tried but the angel stopped him.

"But I failed Sam! The last order I ever directly received from my father was to save Dean Winchester, the thing Dean taught to me was that protecting those you love came before everything, and I failed both! If I had paid more attention to you two, if I hadn't cut myself off, I would have been there sooner; Dean wouldn't have died." By now both of Castiel's hands had come up to Sam and were clutching his shirt, his eyes too bright, and in a way Sam knew had nothing to do with angelic powers, "I thought I knew what the greatest pain was: to be abandoned, but its nothing compared to having someone you're tied to ripped away... _and knowing you could have stopped it._ "

* * *

"42."

"What's that got to do with me?"

"Probably nothing, you totally asked the wrong question."

"Well it's the only one I've got right now." the man sat cross-legged on his bed, the young person sitting in front of him, mirroring his position.

"Man," they sighed, "no wonder Death said this might be dicey."

"Death?" the man asked, "Oh god, don't tell me I'm dead! I'm dead and I don't even know who I am!"

"Technically you're not dead...but, you had to die to get recruited."

"Recruited?  _Recruited into what?_ " This was getting all too much for the man. Seriously, he was getting a headache.

"Your new job." the person explained, "Congrats, you've been hired!" They made a motion of throwing imaginary confetti in the air, "You are now an Acolyte, although you may know it by its earthly term: Soul Reaper."

The man simply stared for a moment, his brain trying to process what he was hearing.

"I don't even know my name... _and I'm a bringer of death and destruction!_?" Because while he may have no memory he knew that reapers killed people! Although, something about the description seemed lacking, like there was more to it. If only he could remember.

"I dunno about destruction," the person argued, pouting a bit, "but I do have your name!"

"And you couldn't have told me this sooner!" the man yelled. God, he was going to have a seizure at this rate.

"My boss said to wait and see if you needed it, didn't know what he was on about, but I guess he meant your memory."

" _You think!_ "

"Chill dude, I'm not used to talking to people with no memory." the person reached behind the bed to grab something, "Memory is tricky stuff, attached to the soul, maybe yours was damaged when it came here. Our boss brought you is personally, that's rare, usually random souls just find there way here. You're different."

"Can I just have my name?" the man asked, suddenly tired.

"And some clothes!" the person agreed and handed him a small bundle, "And this for you." They also gave him a sticker, red and white with black marker writing on it.

"Hello," the man read, "My name is: Dean."

* * *

 


	3. Touched

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: This title is not a reference to a song, but to a previous episode of Supernatural from season 2. They usually would have one God-focused episode per season for the first three years and this has to be my favorite (even though in the episode 'Faith' we see our first reaper). But the episode 'Touched' (although I think it has several different titles, this one is from iTunes) sets up Dean's character for season 4 with seeing 'God's Will'. Into which, I like to privately think that was Cas who was watching over Dean and killed that guy with the pole.

* * *

"Dean, huh?" the young man—Dean, he supposed—said thoughtfully as he pulled on his clothes. Which were nothing more than a pair of black scrubs.

"I guess so." the young person next to him agreed. Dean scowled.

"Was that  _really_ my name or did your boss just give it to me?"

"Dunno." the person replied, "But I like it...it's kinda interesting, actually."

"How so?"

"Dude, seriously?" they asked, "D-E-A-N and D-E-A-T-H. Both start with the same three letters, you practically have the same name as our boss! How awesome is that?"

"I'm not entirely thrilled if you haven't noticed." Dean crossed his arms.

"But at least you have a name now, Dean." The person stuck out their hand, "I'm Aries, by the way."

"And now I finally get yours." Dean said, and after a moment's hesitation, shook the outstretched hand. They both stood there for a moment, an awkward silence settling over them, "So..." Dean scratched the back of his head, feeling that he had short hair, "What happens to me now?"

"Simple," Aries replied, "I train you."

"What? Just like that?" Dean laughed, "I become a Reaper?  _I don't even know who I am!_ "

"Yeah, that's still pretty weird." Aries agreed and tilted their head, eyes becoming clouded with confusion as they thought. Dean thought the expression looked familiar, and slightly endearing.  _Wait, what?_

It was then that something important came to Dean's mind, something he should have realized sooner but with the whole "amnesia thing" it had taken backseat. Now though, Dean stared very hard at the person before him.

"Ares right?" he said after a moment, "Like the god of war?" His companion blinked and then started laughing.

"Hahaha! Oh man, I wish!" they smiled, "If I had been a god before this, man, that would have been awesome! No, I got Aries after the constellation."

"Huh?" It was Dean's turn to cock his head, "What do you mean, 'if you had been a god?' Weren't you human? Wasn't...wasn't I human before? I certainly look human..."

"Oh yeah," Aries was still smiling and waved their hand, "I was human, you probably were too. But nearly anything with a soul, or a facsimile of one, can become an Acolyte. Humans have souls, angels have grace, and gods have a sort essence—well, the lower gods do, dunno about the big cheese upstairs."

"You mean  _the_ God?" Dean asked.

"Yup," Aries nodded enthusiastically, "he's gotta have something like that or otherwise our boss wouldn't be able to reap him."

"Death can reap God?" For some reason this didn't surprise Dean nearly as much as he thought it should. Aries seemed to agree because their eyes narrowed.

"Yeah, but this usually is a bigger shock to people." Dean shrugged and looked nonplus, "Maybe you weren't human after all." Aries said, "But only human souls can be damaged so easily that they forget their image."

"Image?" Dean asked.

"Yeah, when a person dies their soul still retains everything, which basically means memory. So that when you go to either Heaven or Hell, you still look like you. So, whatever you looked like the moment before you died, is how your soul will look."

Dean stared at the person before him. They were shorter than him by at least five inches, short, messy hair and bright green eyes, wearing a long black coat that looked like it was made of wool or some other heavy fabric. Underneath they wore a white zip up hoodie, the hood pulled over the jacket, with black jeans and white Converse shoes. They also looked young—too young.

"How old were you?" he asked softly.

"17." Aries said, "And before you ask, yes, I died in the winter. Hence the coat."

"It's a nice coat." Dean tried to joke. It was unbuttoned, and swayed when Aries moved. Dean thought of a tan trench coat for some reason, but Aries jacket was far more fashionable than that, "So...if a soul is what it remembers itself to look like, then what about me?"

"Well, your soul must be recalling something," Aries reasoned as Dean worriedly felt his face, wishing there were a mirror nearby, "If your soul had completely forgotten itself then you'd look like the first thing you saw...which would be me...which would've been  _creepy_."

"So, I look like how I used to?" Dean asked.

"For the most part, there may be a couple things off, like your age or the condition of your body."

"What?" Aries smiled at Dean's look of horror.

"You may look younger than when you actually died, for instance." they tried to explain, "Or like, notice how you have no scars? Yeah, nobody goes through life without getting a little banged up."

"So just, minor things?" Dean asked hesitantly.

"Probably—look, man, its not like I deal with memory loss all the time."

"Yeah, sorry." Dean sighed. The thing that was bugging him made itself known again and Dean stared hard at his companion. Should he ask?

"ARIEL!" Both people in the room jumped badly as a man stuck his head in from outside and yelled. Aries turned to look.

"Oh, hey Milo."

"Ariel?" Dean asked, and then it clicked, "You're a girl!" The room was silent for a moment as Dean realized what he'd just said.  _Oh god._  His cheeks flushed a bright red, "Uh, I mean..."

"It's cool," Aries smiled, "I totally dig the whole androgynous look, this happens as a side effect."

"I think you look feminine enough." Milo proclaimed, giving Dean and all-out death glare.

"Dean, this is Milo." Aries introduced and pointed to the other man. If Dean had thought Aries' hair was a mess it had nothing on Milo's, which basically looked like it had done battle with a wind storm. His brown eyes were beneath black-rimmed glasses and while he wore a plain black shirt and jeans, his arms were covered in bands, bracelets, beads, and rings. He was older too, mid-thirties. The man was also skinny, like really skinny, and tall but only about an inch or two over Dean, "Milo, this is Dean. He's the new guy."

"Hey." Dean said but had a feeling that wouldn't do much. It didn't. Milo continued to glare at him.

"So he's the one Death assigned you?" he asked, directing his attention to Aries and ignoring Dean.

"Direct orders from the boss man!" Aries chirped, "It's 'cuz he's got no memory." she added and Dean saw Milo blink and look over to him. He held the other man's gaze.

"Oh."

"Yeah so, y'know, gotta explain everything to him and—" Milo was in front of Dean suddenly, studying him carefully.

"Dude, personal space!" Dean barked but didn't back away.

"No memory, but his soul takes its own form?" Milo asked, "That's rare."

"I thought his soul might've gotten damaged." Aries said as Milo finally stepped back.

"Why would he know more than you?" Dean asked.

"Different specialties within our jobs." Milo said briskly, "It's quite fascinating, really. I've never seen anything quite like you."

"Um..." Dean wasn't sure if the other man was suddenly hitting on him. Aries must've seen his expression and laughed.

"Chill man, Milo just likes a good mystery." she said. Milo blinked and looked confused.

"What?"

Both Dean and Aries laughed at his obliviousness. The other man glared again until Aries bumped her shoulder with his good-naturedly and his face softened. Dean knew that look from somewhere.

"So what happens now?" he asked, "Can I get my memory back or does training come first—"

"I'm going to help." Milo declared before Aries could answer and they both stared at him, " _What?_ "

"Uh, dude, you've got your own work." Aries said, "The boss doesn't like it when we skip out on our duties."

"I'm on vacation."

"You guys get  _vacation_ time?" Dean thought that seem slightly far-fetched, but if he was also going into this profession then vacation  _would_ be nice.

"Of course we get vacation time." Milo said as he pushed up his glasses, like vacation for supernatural beings was the most normal thing in the world.

"So you want to spend your vacation working with me?" Aries asked, not letting the subject drop, hands on her hips. Dean saw some color come into Milo's cheeks.

"I didn't have any other plans..." he mumbled, "Besides, this way he can learn from both sides, even if he is an Acolyte." Aries raised an eyebrow and Dean knew there was probably more to this story than the man was letting on, and he thought he knew what it was.

"It couldn't hurt." he spoke up quickly, "Plus, you said he knows more about what could damage a soul." Aries tilted her head in consideration for a moment and then nodded.

"Yeah sure, why the hell not? And I miss spending time you." she said and swung around to face Dean.

"You do?" Milo asked but it was drowned out as Aries yelled, "Alright Dean, let's get to work!"

"Right, so what first?" Dean asked and scratched his shoulder absently—

" _What the?_ " Both Dean and Aries turned to Milo as he stared at Dean's shoulder.

"What?" Dean asked as Milo rushed back up to him and pulled his sleeve back.

"I think I know how your soul retained part of itself." he whispered and Dean looked down at his arm, only to gasp along with Aries.

There, burned into his flesh, was a perfect handprint.

* * *

Sam ran a hand through his hair as he finally pulled the Impala up to the little run-down looking house. Yes, this wasn't the greatest plan but he was really running out of options. He looked over to his passenger.

"You ready, Cas?" he asked. The angel nodded silently, having already voiced his concerns three hours previously. In the end, though, he had agreed it was one of their few viable options left.

Sam swung open the car and got out, stretching his body for a second before making his way to the door. A flutter of wings told him that Cas had teleported to his side.

"I really hope this works." he whispered and rung the bell. There was a moment's silence before shuffling could be heard and a clatter of falling bottles. A muffled curse sounded before the door opening, revealing a small man with a haggard beard and sleep-deprived eyes.

"Hey Chuck." Sam smiled.

* * *

 


	4. In Between Heaven and Hell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This title is a reference to the song Help Me, by Alkaline Trio. It's a good listen and has a cool tune. I was inspired by the line:
> 
> Here you find me in between/  
> Heaven and Hell my dear/  
> Where nothing's as it seems

* * *

Dean sat in an empty white room. It was large, but not endless, with the walls boxing him in. He sat and waited, although he wasn't sure for what. Something? Someone? He was just... _waiting_.

There was a click and Dean turned his head sharply; to his right was a door.  _That should be open_ , was what popped into his mind first. Dean slowly pushed himself to his feet and walked over, placing his hand on the knob. Something was behind here...

He turned the handle and pushed. Then pulled. Nothing, it was locked. The door wasn't even rattling, it just stood completely still, like it was actually part of the wall. Dean threw his shoulder against it but that only caused him slight pain. Whatever was behind this door was cut off to him now, he couldn't reach it.

"Damn." Dean pushed away and turned back to the room, "You shouldn't be empty!" he yelled.

~" _This isn't working, bring him out of it_."~

There was a snap and Dean felt something yank him hard and he sat up with a jolt. Milo and Aries kneeling over him.

"Unsuccessful, I take it?" Milo asked.

"Yeah." Dean nodded and rubbed his head.

"Was it just endless white?" Aries asked.

"Well, it was a white room—"

"Oh! That's good then." Milo interrupted.

"And how's that?" Dean glared.

"A room means you've retained your shell," Milo tried to explain, gesturing quickly with his hands, "That explains your personality, your knowledge of basic things; you're probably a lot like how you were before you died. It's like seeing a picture of a finished puzzle, but you don't have any of the pieces to that puzzle, you just know what it looks like completed."

"So..." Dean tried, "because my soul has a ' _room_ '..."

"You've retained your basic essence that makes you—uh— _you_." Aries finished. Dean was still confused but it made a little bit of sense. Basically the take-home message was that he was  _himself_ , even without his memory.

"So there wasn't anything in that room?" Milo asked, "This is just so  _rare_  for a soul to do this on its own. No, screw rare—this has never happened before!" Dean scratched the scar on his arm, it tingled sometimes, which felt a little disconcerting. Milo had placed his hand on it and then given Dean a mental whammy, sending him into his "soul" to see what could have left it there.

"Well, there was a door." Dean said, "But it was locked, though—like, it didn't even budge."

Both Aries and Milo stared at him.

"Shit." Aries breathed as Milo just gaped.

"Ok,  _what?_ " Dean ground out.

"Y-you..." Milo stuttered, "JUST WHO THE HELL WERE YOU!" Dean jumped back in alarm as Milo practically exploded. Aries tried to calm him down.

"Dean, doorways in a soul usually mean one thing," she started, "that you were connected to someone; tied to them at the most profound level."

" _What?_ " Dean's eyes grew wide.

"Humans don't usually make that kind of connection." Milo said, still looking a bit flustered, "That's more along the lines of supernatural creatures."

"So, I'm  _not_  human?" Dean asked weakly.

"No you are," Milo said quickly, "But whatever made that hand print onto your  _soul_ , was not."

"Which explains a lot." Aries sighed. At Dean's look of doubt she continued, "Whatever made that mark, gave you a part of themselves, and probably took a piece of you—"

" _They took of piece of me?_ "

"—and even though your memory was wiped out by...whatever, that other person, or thing, let you hang on to enough of yourself that  _this_  happened. Your soul still remembers its basic form, and even kept up the overall personality."

"And that's what the door is—was?" Dean asked.

"It was what connected you two." Milo confirmed, "Before you died, it was probably open constantly. Or, if it was closed, it was like a normal door that could still be opened if one so chose."

"But now it won't move at all."

"Because the connection was severed." Aries said grimly, "Dean, what ever happened to you—whatever  _killed_  you, tried to cut everything from you. That connection let you keep just enough so that you weren't a blank slate but it's dead now. The link was completely severed."

Dean let that information sink in.

"And in all honesty, this place isn't helping." Milo shrugged, pushing up his glasses a bit, "This place isn't exactly on a map of the world, or even the supernatural planes. Apart from Earth, between Heaven and Hell. First, you'd have to know it was here, then you'd need to be  _allowed_  to get in."

"What?" Dean asked and Aries sighed, glaring at Milo before turning to Dean.

"Usually even death can't sever a connection within the soul, but even if whatever killed you hadn't ripped everything away, your mate would still be cut off from you. Nothing can sense us here in this realm except Death himself."

"Oh," Dean nodded then paused, "wait—my  _mate?_ " He looked at the two other Reapers incredulously, " _Mate?_ " he tried again.

"Dude, what else do you know that can create such a profound bond?" Aries deadpanned.

"It's even possible in humans, y'know." Milo supplied, "Called soul mates, so who knows; maybe you had a wife or a girlfriend?" Dean thought about it for a second, his heart plummeting. What if he  _had_ had a wife? And now he was dead and she was alone.  _God..._

"Be open-minded Milo," Aries chided, "What if he had a boyfriend?" Dean's head snapped up, "Or if it was a supernatural beastie?"

" _Dude!_ " Dean yelled, blushing now.

"Guess it could've been a hot demon chick," Milo nodded, "or some type of goddess, or a vampire lady—"

"Maybe an angel."

"—yeah, or an angel in a hot chick's body."

"Milo, why do you keep going to hot girls?" Aries asked suddenly and Milo paused, his face becoming as red as Dean's.

"Yeah, man.  _Compensating_  for something?" Dean jabbed, paying the other man back for making him blush.

"Uh—um," Milo floundered for a second before snapping, "Hey! We should get going on teaching Dean about his new job! That's what you're both here for, now get to it!" Aries and Dean chuckled for a second before the girl nodded.

"But he's right Dean, there's nothing that can be done about your memory now. It may return, or it may not."

"Yeah..." Dean sighed. Talk about a rough day, "Guess we should get started then."

* * *

Chuck's place still looked exactly the same from the last time Sam had been here. Seriously, it looked like  _nothing_  had changed. Liquor bottles were littered everything, and any remaining flat spaces had piles of papers on them.

"Still writing, I see." the hunter commented.

"Oh! Uh, yeah." Chuck said as he glanced around nervously, scratching the back of his head, "You know, when I can. They've slowed down a bit since—uh..."

"Since what?" Sam frowned.

"Since, y'know," the prophet gestured vaguely and seemed a little upset, "since  _Dean_."

"Oh." Sam said quietly.  _Right_.

"But you still get your visions?" Castiel asked sharply.

"Yeah, of course!" Chuck answered, "They never stopped, not even after the apocalypse. I've just kept writing. They've actually started publishing my books again," he said and gave a large grin, "The fans really seem to like your character, Castiel—"

"Fascinating." Castiel cut in, not looking the slightest bit interested, "but that does not matter."

"What he means," Sam said quickly as he saw Chuck deflate a little the angel's harsh words, "is that we were wondering if you had any visions of what direction we need to go."

"You mean with your mission from Death?" the author asked and Sam nodded, "I might have something." And he turned to where his table that served as a desk was, rummaging through the papers, "It's been pretty intense recently, _a lot_  of stuff's been going down. And shit just doesn't make sense anymore—ah! Here it is." He pulled out what looked like a small notebook, "Author's notes." he explained and started thumbing through the pages.

"Wait," Sam said, "you said a lot of things are happening but Cas and I haven't done that much...are you—are you saying you see more than just what I do now?"

"Yeah, for awhile now." Chuck replied, still focused on his notebook, "Ever since Dean died it was like my visions switched into God-mode or something. I'll see certain scenes, but it'll be from like this omnipotent view, a-and I'll know things suddenly. It doesn't happen very often." he said quickly, "But when it does I write it all down in here because after a little while it'll all just kinda trickle away."

Sam looked over to Castiel who was wearing a disbelieving frown.

"There we go!" Chuck exclaimed as he reached a certain page, "I thought this might be important to you guys if you ever came around. It's about Dean—"

" _What?_ " Castiel was next to the Chuck in a second, the smaller man squeaking in surprise.

"Uh-uh, yeah!" the prophet continued an octave higher and the angel bared down on him. It would have been funny except that Sam was desperate to know what the information was too, "See, that was the first time the God-vision thing happened. I saw you two go into that barn but it wasn't like my usual dreams. I knew things before you found them out: like I  _knew_  Castiel was going to show up—which on a side note, Dean saw you for the first time in a barn, right? Because it was very poetic in a narrativ—"

"CHUCK!" Sam yelled, because Castiel looked stricken as the prophet brought up painful memories.

"Right, sorry." the man replied and continued in a more serious voice, "Thing was, I saw exactly what they were trying to do in that barn. Those comatose victims in the hospital Sam, the ones that you and Dean read about,  _those were the failures_."

"Excuse me?"

"Those people's souls were still stuck inside their bodies because what the demons were attempting to do is extremely tricky and  _very_  dangerous, but potentially able to grant enormous power."

"Something with the souls, right?" Sam's voice wavered. He knew he wasn't going to like what he heard next.

"Yeah." Chuck said slowly and looked to Castiel, "Imagine, if you could, having a completely blank soul. Fully formed but completely empty, and you were able to put anything you desired into it."

" _No_." Castiel all but growled, "That's impossible, even a human infant's soul is not  _blank_."

"But if you could erase everything from a person..."

"What you're saying," Sam said, something ugly curling in his stomach, "is that they were taking people's soul and erasing them?"

"Creating blank slates which anything could be put onto." Chuck nodded, "Do you know the street value that possesses in the underworld—on  _any_ of the supernatural planes? Souls can be forged into powerful weapons, and if you can craft one to fight only for you—if you could make an army out of that, you couldn't be stopped."

"D-Dean's soul?" Castiel said softly and Sam's heart nearly stopped beating as his mind came to a conclusion.  _No, no, no no no_.

"I'm not sure." Chuck answered and hung his head, "Those demons were  _attempting_  to create blank souls, but they had yet to succeed at that point. The thing is, you guys killed the summoner so when the spell went through, Dean's soul had nowhere to go."

"But I would have  _felt_  him if he were still there." Castiel's voice left room for no doubt.

"Not necessarily," Chuck said quickly, "the bond you guys had would have been completely severed by that spell." Sam saw the color drain out of Castiel's face.

"B-but I would have sensed  _a_ soul." It came out weakly though and Sam felt like he wanted to throw up.

"I can only assume Dean's soul just sorta...disappeared." Chuck shrugged, "I woke up right when he died, after that it's just guesswork."

There was a flutter of wings and Castiel had disappeared.

"Sorry Sam," Chuck said miserably, "but it seemed like something you should know."

"No, no, thanks Chuck. It's...it's what we needed." Sam said, "It explains a lot. Erasing people's minds; who've thought?"

"It's deeper than erasing memories." Chuck warned him, "You can still retain who you were without you memories, but erasing a soul is effectively killing whomever the person used to be while leaving the soul perfectly intact. You basically end up with a being who has limitless potential."

"But if there has always been a way to do this, then why is it just starting now?"

"That's just it Sam, there hasn't always been a way." Chuck said, "In the aftermath of the apocalypse one of the Devil's books went missing. He didn't write this book, and no one knows where he got it from, but someone made copies of it and inside it showed how to do this." A memory hit Sam as he suddenly remembered that book he had seen in the barn with Dean,  _that_  had been one of the books!

"Why didn't the Devil use it then?" he asked.

"Lucifer never wanted to control  _people_ ," Chuck said, "he just wanted to destroy humanity. But this  _is_  probably the same book that let him control the four horsemen, including Death, which is no mean feat."

"That's why!" Sam cried, "That explains why Death is worried about all this, he wants that book destroyed!"

"Or wants a copy, who knows." Chuck said, "But my vision last night? It showed you confronting another pack of demons who have one of those books. Snag one of those and maybe Death will talk to you." That got Sam's attention.

"Where at?" he asked.

"Princeton, New Jersey." There, he had a destination now.

"Thanks Chuck." Sam said gratefully as he turn to leave, "And, uh, sorry about Cas."

"He's at Bobby's now." Chuck whispered and Sam stopped, "He goes there a lot more than you think—"

"—to Dean's grave." Sam closed his eyes.

"Yeah."

"Hey Chuck?" the young man asked, his voice suddenly horse.

"What?"

"Do you know what Castiel keeps repeating when he sings? I think it's the same song, over and over."

"It's not a song, Sam, it's a prayer. Castiel let's his Grace bleed out a bit when he says it so it sounds like a song." Chuck explained, "It's why angels in the bible appear to sing a lot."

"He's praying for Dean?"

"Praying  _to_  Dean. The words he keeps repeating are a phrase, roughly translated it says:  _my faith_."

"His faith?" Sam asked as he turned to the author, who looked at him with heartbroken eyes, like the pain was his own.

"Faith for an angel is the same as love to a human."

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess what I ended up implying is that Castiel is Dean's supernatural beastie.
> 
> ....sorry not sorry!


	5. Dark Side of the Moon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: This title is NOT based on the SPN episode but reference to a line of the song Make a Man Out of You from Disney's Mulan. Because yes, I'm a dork like that and I think every training montage should play that song. If that's not hardcore enough for you then pretend its based off the SPN episode.

* * *

"Right then! Time to start your training!" Aries exclaimed and threw her arms wide. They were all in what looked like a lecture hall, desks on rising platforms and a center area below with a table and podium. Except everything was a muted gray or white color. Dean sat on top of the table while Milo lounged against the podium, Aries circling around them both.

" _Finally_." Milo muttered.

"First off; we don't listen to anything Milo says—"

"Hey!"

"—and second; what do you actually know about Reapers?"

"What?" Dean asked, "You're asking a man with  _no memory_  what he knows about something?"

"You don't have your individual memories," Aries admitted, "But you should have some general ideas. Remember when I first told you about being a Reaper? Your reaction was kinda negative, now why?"

"Fine, fine." Dean grumbled and wracked his empty brain for something, "A soul reaper kills people and takes their souls to the underworld." He looked up at Aries and she smiled.

"That's the basic human consensus." she agreed, "Besides the fact most humans believe us to be a myth."

"But people kind of got it wrong," Milo piped up, "you see; they merged two types of Reapers into one."

"Two?" Dean arched an eyebrow.

"The original intent of a Reaper is in their name, to reap." Milo spread his hands, "That's what I do. I come to collect the souls of the dead and take them to either Heaven or Hell. Reapers don't kill people, Death does—"

"Or rather, that's how it was." Aries interjected, "You know how I told you that Death will one day reap God?"

"Yeah." Dean nodded and Milo narrowed his eyes at the man's easy acceptance, "What, man? I'm weird, I thought we went over that already."

"Anyways, there's a legend that goes with that. It says that the only way for Death to kill God will be to use up all of his essence, his power."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning it'll destroy him too." Aries said, "Life and death; cancel each other out I suppose."

"How does  _this_  translate to my training?" Dean asked, crossing his arms.

"Well someone's gotta replace him!" Aries turned to face him with a dramatic twirl of her black coat. Her left hand was held, outstretched, to Dean. On the middle finger sat a sizable ring with a blood red crystal in it.

"What's that?"

"It's my ring," Aries grinned, "more specifically, it's what holds my power. Death has a ring too, but his is  _far_  more powerful. See, to certain Reapers, he gives these to so that they have power over death as well. That's what I am, an Acolyte;  _one that may be chosen._ "

Dean looked closely at the ring, "So you're going to replace Death?"

"Well, not for sure, but one Acolyte will. It's also just easier for Death, less work for him." Aries laughed, "We go out before the other Reapers and actually kill people, then people like Milo come over and reap their souls."

"It sounds like a long process," Milo sighed, "but it's not. This all takes place in a matter of seconds. Most people don't even see the Acolyte that kills them."

"We're gone too quickly." Aries said, "Our lists are a lot longer than Reapers, and there are far fewer of us."

"Right..." Dean scratched the back of his head, "wait—how does  _that_  work?"

"Simple," Aries gave a wicked smile, "we can move through time as well as space."

" _What?_ "

"It's how Ariel died in 2007 while I died in 1981, yet she's been a Reaper for...how long now?" Milo asked.

"Lost count."

"What's that last number you remember?"

"Fairly certain I got to 500 at one point."

"F-five  _hundred?_ " Dean mind simply stopped working for a moment as he tried to process that. He grabbed the edges of the table to ground himself.

"While I've only been at this gig for about thirty plus years." Milo shrugged.

"That's what happens when you do shit in a linear manner, dude." the female Reaper giggled.

"Ok..." Dean sighed. Both his companions turned to look at him, "Sorry, it's just...my mind has been blown. Like, literally."

"Seriously doubt it." Milo said.

"His mind literally was blown," Aries explained, "it's how he died."

"So which one am I?" Dean asked after another moment.

"Acolyte." Both answered.

"It's a pretty big deal, actually." Milo said as he leaned forward on the podium, closer to Dean, "No one's been chosen for  _decades_."

"The boss man seems to have taken an interest in you." Aries nodded, then popped her head up and snapped her fingers, "Speaking of which, I gotta get your ring from him! Brb!"

A large tendril of black smoke suddenly shot out of the ground around Aries, the darkness circling around her feet before swallowing her whole. Dean figured his eyes couldn't possibly get any wider than they were.

"Uh..."

"Yeah, she does that." Milo said.

"Did she just say—"

"Brb? Yep, she does that too."

"And you call her Ariel because...?"

"That was her name when she was human, she told me."

"Oh dude, you've  _so_  got it  _bad_."

* * *

Aries felt the darkness swirl briskly around her, whipping her coat in several directions. After a moment the movement stopped and she found herself in what looked like a small restaurant, oriental if the décor was anything to go by. Seated in the back was her boss, chopsticks in hand, looking still the very picture of elegance and power.

Not surprisingly everyone else in the eatery was dead.

"Sir, you've really got to stop doing that."

"Ah, Aries." the anthropomorphic personification said smoothly from his seat, "How nice of you to join me, you really must try this sushi."

"Sure." As Aries knew it was futile to try and refuse. Her boss loved food and when he found something good he  _demanded_  others try it, "But you didn't have to kill everybody...again."

"I didn't." her boss protested as he pushed his plate over to Aries when she sat down, "The chef is perfectly fine."

"As well as mentally scarred for life."

"I would never kill off talent like, not until it was his true time." Death continued as Aries picked up her own set of chopsticks and carefully placed a piece of sushi in her mouth.

"Damn, that  _is_  good." she agreed. It always was if her boss ate it.

"Indeed." Death smoothed out his suit and folded his napkin, "Now how is our newest recruit doing?"

"Surprisingly well." Aries answered as she leaned back and crossed her legs, "You sure know how to pick 'em, boss. He can't remember a damn thing yet his soul managed to retain its basic shell—and get this, he's got a  _mate_  out there somewhere."

"Is that so?" Death looked genuinely surprised.

"There was a doorway when we checked and Milo's 100% certain he's human. It's odd, but it's not just that, I tell him things like how you're gonna reap God one day and he doesn't even blink!"

"Interesting." And that sounded as suspicious as Aries was used to hearing from her boss, he always had plans going on.

"And yeah, you said you wanted him to be an Acolyte so..."

"You're here for his ring?"

"Yes sir."

"Of course," Death rummaged through one of his pockets before pulling out what looked like a plain silver ring, large X's running across it, "This one will be his."

"It looks..." Aries didn't want to actually say "plain" or "dull" but Death's rings were usually more elaborate and had some type of stone to focus the energy.

"If he had his memory I could say its something familiar." Death chuckled and Aries raised an eyebrow. Death sighed and tapped the ring, a band of jade wrapping around the middle suddenly, "Watch as he puts it on his right ring finger." He pulled a small box from the inside of his jacket, "Now this is a gift for him—" Aries' jaw dropped, "—tell him it's from his previous life."

Aries took the little box like it was the more precious thing in the whole universe. Her boss  _never_  gave presents, not like this.

"Sir," she asked seriously, "just who  _is_  this guy?"

"I have faith that you, of all people, will come to see." Cryptic as usual, "But I do have news for you, on our  _other_  front." Aries' interest perked.

"You mean the Winchester boy?" she said. Like most Reapers, the issues of angels and demons were beneath her concern, but she  _had_  heard of the Winchester brothers. Namely how the elder one had helped her boss slip from Lucifer's stupid spell and that now Death had assigned the younger brother to look into the 'erasure' problem happening on Earth.

Souls getting wiped clean to serve others purposes. It was messing up Reaper's Lists and causing havoc with work schedules, not to mention it was just rude to do that to a person.

"Sam Winchester has finally made the connection." Death said.

"He knows of the books then?"

"Yes." Death took a sip from a tiny cup, Aries assumed it had saké in it, "And when he gets one, I want you to talk to him."

"But—"

"Milo can watch over your charge during that period. I am reassigning him to help you, so tell him he can use his vacation days some other time."

"Oh. Yes sir." Aries was confused but kept her mouth shut about that, "So how much do you want me to tell the Winchester boy?"

"As much so that he goes down the right path."

* * *

"You dig her."

" _Shut up, Dean_."

"Dude it's just  _so_  obvious."

"No its not! Uh—because I don't!"

"You totally wanna hit that."

"Dean—"

"Wanna hit it  _hard_."

"Ok, that's it!"

"Hey guys." There was a column of swirling black smoke and Aries popped up in the middle of the room, her coat flaring out behind her. She blinked as she saw Milo posed, reaching halfway across the table trying to strangle Dean, "What's up?"

Dean gave a large grin and winked while Milo deflated instantly.

"Nothing." they both said. Aries was not convinced.

"So how'd it go?" Dean asked, trying to distract his friend's attention as Milo started blushing at Aries' stare.

"Oh yeah," the girl said and pulled out a ring and threw it over. Dean caught the piece of metal with ease and examined it. Silver with a green strip of what looked like jade running through it.

"Nice," he said and slipped it on his right ring finger. It fit perfectly and seemed comfortable there.

"Huh." Aries cocked her head to the side.

"What?" asked Dean but the girl just shook her head and grabbed something else out of another pocket and threw it to him.

"Death also wanted you to have this, said it's from your previous life."

Dean caught the item and gripped it tight, looking down at it. It was a plain jewelry box that was made of cheap velvet. He rubbed his thumb across it.  _From his previous life?_

"What is it?" he asked as Aries and Milo moved to either side of him to get a better look at the box.

"I'm sure it'll be far easier and probably quicker if you just open it."

Dean would forever deny afterwards that his hands were shaking slightly as he opened that little box, but at the moment he was far too preoccupied with what could possibly be the only thing he would ever have from when he was alive.

Inside was a necklace.

It was a simple black cord with a gold piece in the center.

"Is that a tribal head?" Milo asked, speaking of the centerpiece. Dean lifted it out of the case and turned it over carefully.

"Any memories coming back?" Aries asked.

"No." Dean whispered. Nothing was coming to him yet, as he slipped the necklace on, "But it feels like home."

* * *

 "So now that you know a bit more about us, its time to get to the serious shit." Aries lectured. As Dean was learning, time "passed" oddly here. There were never any clocks but people always seemed to know when they were supposed to do things. Milo assured him he would get used to it.

As it was, Dean was not sure how much time had passed since he had first woken up here. Although, if he thought about it, it didn't really matter. As an Acolyte, time was no longer an issue for him. He fiddled with his new necklace; a warmth always spreading through him when he touched it. Was it something this  _supposed_  mate gave to him, or someone else?

"So then what's next on the list?" he asked. Aries turned to face him.

"You need an outfit." Dean blinked.

"Man you don't even know how lucky you are." Milo sighed, "If I'd known that I'd forever be wearing what I died in I would have totally picked something else." He gestured to his multitude of bracelets and wristbands.

"Wait what?" Something about that sentence seemed off.

"So I figure a trip to the outside world will do us some good." Aries continued, not having heard the exchange. Dean's mind quickly shifted to the new subject.

"You mean Earth?" he said excitedly and Aries nodded.

"Because while scrubs are fine and dandy in our in-between world of cleanliness and order, you'll quickly find the other dimensions are not so."

"Not even Heaven?" Dean wasn't sure why he cared, but he did. Milo snorted behind him.

"Definitely not Heaven." he said, "Now make sure when you pick something that it looks cool and totally badass."

"Done and done." Dean agreed and Aries walked up to him.

"Now this'll also be a good opportunity to show you how to move around with your new powers and after shopping you can do Orientation." There were several things in that sentence Dean wanted to dissect but his mind seemed to be on one track right now.

"So I'll move around like you?" he asked, "With the black darkness and stuff seeping out?"

"Not quite." Aries smiled.

"That's kinda her thing." Milo whispered.

"Usually its more kinda phasing in and out," Aries tried to explain, "like melting into the air."

"Here, watch me." Milo said as he slowly backed away, "Where to?" he asked Aries.

"I'm feeling...cloudy. Let's hit up San Fran, you know where." she said and Milo gave a shy smile, that made him look almost boyish.

Then he vanished.

It wasn't instantly, like 'there one second then gone', but very much indeed like melting. Much like his image just bled into the surrounding air. It happened very quickly, but still enough for Dean to see the actual effect.

"But I thought he was a different type of Reaper?"

"We all travel the same." Aries said, "They can only travel through space tho', while we can also choose time. So we'll be going to where he lasted bookmarked."

"Bookmarked?"

"The time period his last reaping was at." Aries clarified and adjusted the ring on her finger, "Now the trick is to let the power just flow through you, its part of Death so its smart, it knows where you need to go so you don't have to be familiar with an area."

"Thank god." Dean joked as he played with his own ring.

"Not God, not quite." Aries said and Dean suddenly felt something slip inside him, into his mind, powerful and solid. It rushed through him and he closed his eyes, only opening them when the feeling stopped.

"Whoa." he gasped and doubled over, panting for breath.

"Intense right?" Milo chuckled and Dean jumped as the man was suddenly right next to him.

"At least you didn't tip over." Aries grinned, "Like Milo did his first time."

" _It's very disorienting!_ "

Dean laughed and then took in his surroundings as he straightened up, "Where are we?"

"Welcome to Pier 39." Milo threw his hands out.

"Good place to shop and then eat!" Aries chimed in.

"Right then." Dean cracked his knuckles, "Let's get to it."

Four hours and several shops later Dean felt whole for the first time in what seemed like ages. Mainly due to the fact he was now wearing real clothes.

"You know the difference between me and you guys?" he asked as he stepped out of the fitting room, "I make this look  _good_."

He had on sleek steel-tipped boots, faded black jeans with two belts (because Milo assured him that was the  _IN_  look now, although he had his doubts), designer gray dress-shirt with the top buttons undone (because Aries assured him that way sexy, and he agreed), and a black leather jacket. He loved his new jacket; not too tight and it had all sorts of embellishments and little design quirks that just screamed  _I am_   _awesome_.

It also screamed that he had lots of money, which he didn't, but when you can just teleport out of a store when you find what you want then why the fuck not? Plus, it's not like he was ever going to wear anything else. So yeah, he took advantage and went all out.

"Nah man, you need to put on sunglasses while saying that." Aries said, pulling Dean to the present.

"What?" he blinked.

"No one gets your movie references Ariel." Milo yawned and gave Dean the thumbs up on his outfit.

"Whatever man." she snapped playfully back, "We good here?" she asked Dean.

"Yup." he swung his arms around, "I feel good."

"Then off we are." There was another flurry of power and movement and Dean found himself in a dirty little convenience store. Quite a downgrade from where he'd just been.

"Where are we?" he whispered.

"You don't have to whisper." Milo said as he leaned back against a freezer door, apparently not cold even though he only wore a thin t-shirt. Pros of being already dead, Dean figured.

"We're on Earth right now," Aries explained, "but we're on our own separate plane. No one can see or hear us except those who are dying."

"Well, that and angels and demons." Milo threw in, "They can see us but the can't interfere."

"Handy." Dean gave and looked around. The store was empty except the cashier who was reading a magazine, looking horribly bored, "So  _why_  are we here?"

"Orientation." Aries stated solemnly, "This is what we do Dean, this is your job."

"What is—"

There was a sudden crash as the doors were blasted back, a man with a hat covering his eyes coming through. He immediately pulled out a gun and pointed it at the cashier who, Dean just noted, looked like he was barely twenty.

"Gimme the fucking cash!"

"O-ok." the boy cried and clumsily started clawing at the register. The man shoved the gun at his head and Dean had a horrible feeling in his gut.

"Stop fucking taking so long or I'll blow your goddamn head off!" the robber practically screamed and the boy started sobbing.

"I-I just need the keys..." he fumbled for something under the counter, practically tripping.

"You don't think I'll shoot you!" the robber shoved his gun at the kid again, "I'll fucking kill you—"

**BANG!**

Dean actually jumped as the shot fired, but as he looked at the counter he saw the young man still standing, trembling. A small gun held in his hands and the robber lying on the floor coughing up blood.

The strongest sense of déjà vu hit Dean like a ton of bricks but then washed away as Aries touched his arm.

"Now its our job to release his soul from his body." she said. Dean nodded and walked up to the man on the floor, his blood quickly pooling beneath Dean's new shoes yet he knew that somehow they weren't touching.

There was a moment where Dean felt like he should let the man suffer for what he had done, but it passed. There was no reason for it, Dean's job was to kill him, not to watch more suffering. He kneeled down and laid a hand on the man's forehead, stilling him instantly as his last breath went out in a gargle.

"Wh-what?" Dean looked behind himself and saw the robber standing over him, looking down at his dead body.

"Milo?" Aries said and the man came from behind her up to the robber.

"Time to go man, end of the line." he sighed.

"B-but..." the robber was at a loss. He looked to Dean, "What does it all mean?"

"It means your dead." Dean said flatly. There was no malice in his words, but he had no desire trying to answer what he did not know. Everyone dies, and it sucks. End of story.

Milo and the robber walked away and Dean turned back to Aries, where she watched him carefully.

"How'd I do?" he asked.

"Not done yet." she said and they moved. This time outside of a sports car, parked underneath the shade as its owner took a huge bite from looked like a three-leveled burger. Dean felt his arteries clog up from just the sight.

"Heart-attack right?" he asked as he looked at Aries. Right that instant the man seized up and dropped back in his seat, choking.

"Not quite, but if he had been given two more months..."

Dean walked up again to the guy and put his hand through the open window, touching the guy's shoulder.

"What the?" Dean turned around again and there stood the man, an incredibly beefy man now that Dean got a proper look at him. He shrugged in sympathy. The guy looked at his dead body and then sighed sadly, his shoulders slumping, "Guess I shoulda seen it comin'."

Dean was getting a good vibe from the guy (having bad taste in food didn't mean he was a bad person) and patted him on the back, "It ok, man." he smiled as Milo reappeared and lead him off again.

"How you feeling?" Aries asked.

"Ok." Dean answered truthfully. He didn't feel great but he didn't feel horrible either, just a little empty. He toyed with his necklace again.

"Just one more for today." Aries said and they moved. Dean looked around and saw they were sitting on a lawn, toys scattered everywhere as a small boy played with two plastic trucks. His mother was tending to the front garden about ten feet away and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. Dean felt sick again.

"I don't envy you guys." Milo said as he sat next to Dean, taking in the peaceful atmosphere.

"Sometimes its easy," Aries said, "sometimes its predictable, and sometimes...it hurts."

"Does it ever get easier?" Dean asked as he watched the little boy push his trucks down the slight hill of the lawn towards the sidewalk. Aries was silent for a moment as she thought and part of Dean hoped she lied for him.

"Yes." Nope, no lies for him.

One truck stopped when it hit the sidewalk but the other kept going, rolling out into the gutter and then further in the street. Dean saw the huge SUV turn the corner and head down the street faster than it should, but the little boy didn't. Dean, Milo, and Aries sat on a well-manicured lawn during a beautiful day watching the street as a six and a half year old was run down.

Dean stood up as the car screeched and by the time the mother's screams had reached his ear he was already bending over the child, covering their small hand with his own.

"It's  _not_  fair!" the boy cried as Milo picked him up.

"It never is." Dean said as he felt the handprint on his shoulder twinge, "It never is."

* * *

"I can't believe it!" Milo exclaimed when they got back to their world. The cold, empty walls feeling very welcome to Dean after all the color and violence.

"What?" he asked the other man.

"You actually passed." Milo said, "No one passes their first time!"

"Everyone tries to save their first kid." Aries clarified, "Can't see the bigger picture."

"That if that kid didn't die then things would be thrown off balance." Dean continued, "If one person doesn't die then other people will."

"Exactly," Aries agreed, "its none of our business if people get brought back to life through some other means, but they always must  _die_. That's just how it is."

"And you got that your first time!" Milo shook his head, "Incredible."

"I'm weird," Dean sighed, "we've been over that."

"Guess there's just one thing left before we start your fellowship." Aries started.

"Fellowship?" Dean questioned.

"It's where you work with another Acolyte for an extended period of time to learn about the other realms. Unlike Reapers, Acolytes can go to Heaven and Hell as well—even Purgatory sometime if we're lucky. But moving through those areas means we're susceptible to other creatures that can hurt us. So you need to learn how to deal with them by following another Acolyte until they deem you fit for solo service. Milo will also be joining us."

"I will?" asked Milo.

"Death said he wants a full unit while I train Dean so that means both an Acolyte and a Reaper, unless you don't want to—"

"What no! No, I'm totally willing to help! Just say the word and I'm yours...uh, I mean." he floundered.

"Smooth." Dean whispered before turning back to Aries, "So what you're saying is...you'll teach me to fight basically?"

"Basically," both other Reapers answered.

"Each type of supernatural beastie can be dealt with in a different way." Aries said.

"So then what's the one more thing?"

"You need a weapon."

"What?" Dean laughed, "Like a gun? We gotta go back to Earth now? Or like "holy water and rock salt" weapon?" Milo suddenly looked suspicious.

"How do you know about—"

"No, your Reaper weapon." Aries said, "All Acolytes have them, just like Death has his scythe, best thing is: no one can use your weapon against you."

"Sounds great," Dean deadpanned, "but how to I get this all powerful weapon?"

"That's where is gets even better," Aries grinned, "you just summon it, use the same power we get to move through the realms but this time get it to form a weapon."

"Seriously? It's that simple?"

"Yup, every weapon is unique to its owner. Consider it another insight to your lost memories." That had Dean's attention.

"Alright, I'm game." He looked at Milo and Aries, "So what, I close my eyes and just will it to appear in my hands?" Milo shrugged but Aries nodded her head.

"That's a really lame way of putting it...but yes."

"Yahtzee." Dean sighed and focused on the right he was wearing.  _Uh...summon: weapon!_

Amazingly, that actually did something. Bad thing was that everything went batshit insane afterwards.

Dean wasn't quite sure what he was expecting but bright crackling light to burst from his arm was not it. Electricity was traveling down from his shoulder and to his ring where it pulsed with wild energy and quickly blinded Dean so that he was forced to close his eyes. From somewhere he could swear he heard glass breaking.

After a few seconds of that everything went dead silent in a heartbeat. Dean hesitantly opened one eye and looked down at his hand.

"Whoa!" he gasped as he gripped the handle of what appeared to be a sheathed katana. Smooth black surface that was polished so well he could see his reflection and silver engravings across the handle. He quickly pulled out the blade and saw some type of inscription written on it but he had no idea what it said, "Dude," he whispered, "this is so badass."

"Yeah, but that was  _not_  a normal way for things to go!" Milo yelled, looking stricken. Aries, however was looking down at the handle for Dean's sword.

"Were you religious?" Dean followed her gaze and lifted up his sword so that the handle was eye level, wrapped around it was a beaded necklace with a cross on the end, "It's a rosary." she whispered.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before you go, 'that's a total ripoff to the first test Dean was given!' ummm, yeah. It's supposed to be a similar test. I'm going off the notion that all future reapers are given this type of test so it WOULD be similar.


	6. Undisclosed Desires

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: This title is a reference to the song Undisclosed Desires by Muse. Great track, I recommend a listen. I always think the lyrics are how Cas feels about Dean in the actual show, not just the fandom.

* * *

A long time had passed for Dean.

He'd never quite gotten the knack for learning how to tell time in the Reaper dimension but if he had to guess, he'd say it was close to a decade from when he had first woken up completely naked with Aries standing over him.

Ten years for him, although Milo said only about a year of his linear time had passed.

Dean's room in his soul was no longer empty but now filled with all sorts of things, all sorts of memories. There were windows now and the walls were a nice caramel color with posters and pictures of all kinds hanging from them. Dean had a thing for rock music and classic films. There was a guitar in one corner, a shitload of car magazines in another, a huge four-poster bed in the center with unmade sheets (and a Magic Fingers switch to the side, both Aries and Milo said he had a serious addiction), and the most comfortable leather couch, that Dean had yet to see in the physical world, pressed against the side wall.

The only thing that looked out of place was The Door. He never put anything close to it and it was still stark white, just standing there. Dean had learned to ignore it over time, but occasionally he would still go up and try to move the handle.

Dean had also learned to appreciate his job. He got to travel  _everywhere_  for it. Like literally.

He had hit up the Titanic with Aries and Milo and gotten to dance with fucking royalty, played music in New Orleans with the finest jazz musicians, strolled along the Golden Gate Bridge before the massive earthquake, gotten to ride in a friggin' spaceship, stood in Jerusalem as Jesus was crucified, watched as fire streaked across the sky while Pompeii burned, seen gladiators battle it out in the Coliseum, even watched as God flooded the entire earth in one massive storm.

He had learned, with some difficulty, to see past the death. His job was necessary. It  _had_  to be done, or souls would only be left to suffer.

Dean had seen Heaven too, both in its glory days with God ruling and after when chaos reigned everywhere. He'd even visited Purgatory one time and to this day he wasn't quite sure how to explain what he had seen.

The only place he hadn't been to was Hell. Or rather, to its inner most section where all the souls were held. He had been to the outskirts, where Milo and other Reapers dropped off those souls unfortunate enough to be sent there, but Aries had said he was allowed to go no farther. Death's orders.

He knew demons though, had seen and interacted with them many times. Truly disgusting creatures. Dean could see only the faint ghost image of the people they wore but for the most part, he just saw the demon. Gods and "higher powers" were different, like they weren't really there, just wisps of thoughts and feelings held together solely by willpower. Probably why there weren't many left.

And then there were angels.

To be truthful, Dean didn't have much experience with them. They seemed to view Reapers the same way Reapers viewed them; beneath their concern. So the few times he had seen an angel they had simply chosen to ignore him. Which was fine, Dean had no real interest in them. Except for their wings.

Milo said he couldn't see them but Dean and Aries could. Aries said it had to do something with Death's power that ran through them, allowed them to see more of the angel's true form even when they were in a vessel and Dean had to say, their wings were beautiful. No one angel had the same type of wings, much like no Reaper had the same ring or weapon. Some angel's had gold wings, some had white, and some were even multi-colored! Dean wondered what black wings would look like.

In fact, only one angel had ever even acknowledged him, as far as Dean could recall.

The man had had tawny wings a bit shorter than the average angel's with golden hair and eyes. He had taken one look at Dean and laughed. But it was an odd laugh, like the kind when someone gets told a joke and only days later do they realize the punch line. He had waked up to Dean then and clapped him soundly on the shoulders.

" _So that's how it goes, Deano?"_  he'd smiled before turning around and walking away. Aries had later told him that he was an archangel, who could also hop through time as easily as them, and that he dies trying to stop the apocalypse. Dean never sees him again.

Overall, Dean was happy with his afterlife. Only, some days the necklace he wore would seem to be heavier and the rosary he now had wrapped around his wrist seemed so familiar. And that door, The Door was always there in the back of his mind, reminding his of something he had lost.

* * *

Blood splattered across the walls as the demon's head rolled across the floor. Actually, several demons lay dead, a fact Dean was quite proud of.

"Christ," he whistled as he sheathed his blade. Milo had nicknamed it ' _The Impaler',_  although Aries thought it was stupid to name a weapon, "demons these days sure are getting cocky."

"Its because of the power shift that happened in 2010." Milo explained, stepping out from the corner he'd been watching from. His kind of Reaper couldn't really fight, "With both Michael and Lucifer gone, a lot of the rules that had been in place for both angels and demons vanished...and practically everyone just started doing what they wanted."

"Yeah ok," Dean cocked an eyebrow, "but c'mon, full-on attacking a Reaper?"

"There aren't many smart demons, Dean." Aries sighed. She had also been watching, but more to see Dean's progression as her student, as Dean knew that if she wanted Aries could wipe out a whole friggin' battalion of demons without breaking a sweat. Her weapon scared him sometimes.

"At least angels have  _that_  over demon." Milo agreed.

"Right, so what are angels doing now?" Dean asked, although from what he'd seen angels apparently liked to fight more with each other than with demons. Go figure.

"Let's see, it's 2012..." Milo muttered as the trio made their way out of the alleyway they had been attacked in, "So by this point the archangel Raphael is in power and since he's old-school he doesn't really care what happens down here."

"Peachy." Dean deadpanned.

"Well, that last soul finished my list for the day." Milo said, "What now?"

"Dude, do you even gotta ask?" Dean grinned.

"Oh man, here we go  _again_." Aries groaned.

"No guys," Dean started excitedly, "I was talking to James from Canada and he said he found the best place for burgers! We gotta check it out!"

"I swear, you're as bad as the boss man."

"You and him have food issues." Milo pointed accusingly, "Plus, who eats right after slaughtering seven demons?"

"I do!" Dean laughed.

* * *

It was a long drive to Jersey and Sam was beginning to get bored.

"One day, Cas, I'm going to teach you how to drive." he said to his passenger.

"I could just teleport us there if the need is great." the angel responded seriously.

"What? No, no man, I'm just making conversation." Sam said, "Just a little bored, guess we could play some music or something." Although the only thing the Impala could play were cassettes and those had all belonged to Dean and whenever Sam tried to listen to them, he just got depressed, "So, uh, are  _you_  alright?" Wow, real smooth.

"Excuse me?" Castiel tilted his head.

"I mean yesterday, at Chuck's."

"Oh," the angel's eyes darkened, "I apologize for leaving you Sam—"

"It's cool, man." Sam interrupted hastily, "I understand, just making sure you're ok now."

"Now? Yes." Of course Sam didn't believe that for a second but he decided to not push Castiel on the subject. Yet. He was persistent dammit, it was just in his nature.

"What do you think of these books?"

Castiel's scowl unfocused, his version of a "thinking" face, and paused for a moment, "I do recall wondering where Lucifer managed to get the power to control the horsemen, especially Death. If he did have a book this powerful and didn't use it that much..."

"Then it must be really dangerous." Sam finished. He remembered when Lucifer had been inside of him. There had been anger, so much anger, and a lot of pain but what Sam remembered most was the sheer cunning his mind had. _Everything_  had been planned out to the smallest detail to prepare for the apocalypse. If he had decided not to use this book to its full potential then that could only mean he wasn't sure if he'd be able to control it.

"This must be why souls are in such high demand right now." Castiel said suddenly.

"Because of what you can do with them?" Sam asked but the angel shook his head.

"No, its because the spell  _isn't_ working." At Sam's confused face he continued, "Don't you see? There's no shortage of these books, so if the spell  _was_  working then there would be several armies at war now."

"But there isn't!" Sam exclaimed, "So the hunt is on for something that can make the spell work."

"Or any other, if slower, methods of doing so." Castiel agreed.

"That's why Balthazar was selling angel artifacts for souls." Sam said, "He may have only got a few souls, but he got them safely to sell to others. Who in turn take these souls and try to reprogram them!"

"But this book would be the fastest way, and so everybody keeps trying to perfect it." Castiel looked out of the window, "Chuck said if we can get on of these books, then Death will meet us?"

"Practically." Sam nodded.

"Then I suggest you drive faster."

It was cold in Jersey, Sam had forgotten. They had snow here and it was cold. Wet and cold. This was just not cool.

"Cas how are you not cold?" Sam's teeth chattered as he clambered out of the car, slipping a little on some ice. The angel stood on the other side, wind whipping at his coat, looking off at their target destination.

"I feel it." He answered, "But it does not bother me."

"Lucky." Sam muttered as he popped the trunk and gabbed several items. Always his knife, the thing had saved his life too many times to count, some holy water, a stake, and the Colt.

He  _always_  brought the Colt now.

He knew, that maybe, maybe if he'd had the Colt with him that day, Dean would still be alive. If only...

"Sam?" Castiel was starring at him.

"Right, coming." He hastily slammed the trunk and joined the angel's side. This time is was an abandoned building, half finished before the economy tanked and it had been left to rot.

"Deal with what you can, but I will take care of most." Castiel, blunt as always. And just as protective as Dean had been. Sam didn't mind as much anymore.

"Got it." he said and they split ways. Sam circling towards the back while Castiel took the front. Even though Sam was a big person, years of training had made his footsteps silent and he stuck to the shadows expertly. He was in his element now. Although some part of him wished for the normal life he would have had with Jess, this is where he  _belonged_.

The rear doors were locked but wasn't much of an issue and Sam was within the building in under a minutes. He crept through the broken mess of beams and bars, looking for anything that would indicate a demon presence and stopped suddenly when he heard voices.

Sam threw himself down behind a half-finished wall and pressed himself against it, straining to hear what the voices were saying. If they had seen him. But they were just murmurs and nothing could be made out. The hunter was about to breath out in relief when there was a snap and a sudden blinding light and then all hell broke loose.

Not literally, Sam had seen that before, but the ground was shaking and the sounds of battle could clearly be heard.

_Cas!_

Telling caution to go fuck itself, Sam Winchester launched himself from the wall and ran towards the center of the building. There stood Castiel and seven other demons, eyes completely black, throwing themselves at the angel like the beasts they were.

Sam's hand moved automatically and before his brain had caught up he'd already picked off one demon, shooting straight through her neck. Castiel's angel blades dropped into his hands from where he stored them in his sleeves and he lashed out. Sam remembered when Cas had found the angel blade Dean had kept in the car, gripping it like something precious. He was even deadlier with two blades.

Blood sprayed everywhere and Sam leapt into the fray. He didn't try to talk with demons anymore either. They just all needed to die. Sam stood up as he pulled his knife from the last demon's stomach, energy still crackling through the now empty husk. He looked over and saw Castiel standing with the rest of the bodies piled around them, most with their eyes blown out.

"Did they spot you coming in?" Sam asked, wiping his forehead.

"I didn't really go for subtly." replied the gravelly voice.

"Of course not." Sam sighed, it was then that something caught his eye. Amongst the wreckage was...

"The book!" he ran over and snatched it from the ground, clutching it tightly. One of the demons had been carrying it. Trying to get it out? It didn't matter now, "Cas, this is it!" he said breathlessly. Castiel was at his side instantly, eyes scanning the book.

"It's in Enochian." he said after a minute.

"Not this part," Sam pointed below what looked like it could be the title, "that part's in Latin, I can read it."

"Of course," the angel sighed, "It's been translated, and badly at that."

"So that's why...it must be why the spells aren't working correctly—"

"And why the angels are so eager to get their hands on one?" Sam cut in. Castiel's face darkened as he realized this but he made no further comment. Sam put his hand on the angel's shoulder and leaned in, "So then, we gonna do this?"

* * *

"...but overall I'd have to say apple pie is probably the best." Dean finished through a mouthful of fries.

"They don't come more American than you." Milo said, looking like he wanted nothing more than to kill himself from boredom, which happened if you tried to get into a conversation with Dean about pie.

"Dude, I warned you." Aries said, sipping from her cherry milkshake. There was a sudden vibrating sound and she jumped a foot in the air, blushing and taking out her phone, "Sorry," she whispered and answered it, "Hello? Hey! Boss, what's up? Hmmm? Right now? Yeah, sure...oh? Really, ok no problem. And Milo...right, got ya. No problem boss man, I'm on it." she switched off her phone.

"Death?" Dean asked.

"Yup."

"Big case?"

"For me," she smiled, "but you actually get to go meet the head honcho now."

"Wait—what?" Dean dropped a fry and Milo spit out his water.

"Yeah, big guy want a meeting with you. Says he want to take a look at that door in your soul, might be able to do something about it."

"Holy—" Milo couldn't even finish his sentence, he just flailed around. Thankfully, Dean had gotten used to this too. He was still pretty shocked though.

"A-are you sure?" he asked.

"Yes, now get to it." Aries snapped, but with no real heat, "He doesn't like to be kept waiting!" Dean twisted his ring back on to his middle finger and was gone. Aries turned to her companion, "Now we got other shit to do."

"Like what?" Milo still seemed close to a heart attack.

"I gotta talk to a Hunter and you need to watch over his angel while I do so."

" _What?_ "

* * *

Dean appeared on a dock.

He looked around for a second, the place seemed familiar, but he knew he'd never been here before. Not that he could recall. Further down the dock, right where it ended in the lake, sat an occupied chair.

Death. He had heard so much about him from Aries and Milo but this was his first time actually seeing the guy. He wasn't sure whether to be terrified or thrilled. Maybe both.

"Come up here Dean, I dislike wasting time, regardless of how much I have." Dean swallowed and walked forward, coming up next to the man, or rather,  _entity_.

"Sir." he said stiffly. The master Reaper cut right to it.

"I heard you have a doorway in your soul?"

"Yes sir." he replied and for some reason this made Death chuckle a bit.

"Never thought I'd hear you call me sir, but 'never' is a very permanent statement and I was wrong to make it." his eyes met Dean's although his face did not turn, "I really should know better."

Dean had no idea why, but he broke out into a cold sweat.

"I think I may be able to help with it, although I can give no guarantees as to its chances of success."

"Seriously?" Dean turned to face his boss completely, "You could open that door?"

"Not so much open it, as place you on the other side." the man put his fingertips together, "You could end up anywhere in the other soul, and souls are a dangerous thing to get lost in."

"I don't care," Dean was on a knee now to be face to face with Death, "Aries said I had some type of mate, or something. I was  _connected_ to someone, maybe if I see them, I could get my memories back or at least..." He didn't like it but, "just say goodbye, even if they aren't aware of it."

"If you are sure?" But it wasn't really phrased like a question. The one thing Aries had repeated over and over again; Death always had plans. This one must somehow work for him, but that was alright because it worked for Dean too.

"Do it." he said and Death tapped him on the forehead.

His world went white. Pure white so bright it blinded him instantly. Dean fell backwards and hit the hardwood floor.

_What?_

The Reaper cracked an eye open in surprise and saw that he could, well, actually  _see_. And he wasn't at a lake anymore, but inside of a house. Dean jolted up suddenly and looked around feverishly. Has this been his house? Was this his mate's soul?

It was a rather large house for just two people— _Oh god, he didn't have kids did he?_ —and the sun seemed to be streaming from outside into what appeared to be the living room, where he was. It was an open house with stairs to his left and a dinning hall further back. Upstairs is where he figured the bedrooms were, and was also where he heard an ominous thump.

"Hello?" But it was a whisper and Dean was being a total girl about this. Still, he made his way cautiously up the stairs to a small hallway where the door on his left was cracked open and rustling could be heard. Dean crept over and pushed against it gently, swinging open to reveal a person facing away from him in what looked like pajamas and doing stretches.

A very  _male_  person.

Dean took a moment for that to sink in. Aries had been right, he should have been more open. Apparently he liked dudes, and that actually sat well with him. If his mate a guy, why the hell not? Milo said less than .1% of the human race found their soulmates and if he'd somehow been lucky enough to find his, why should gender be an obstacle?

It helped that he was now just a soul and technically had no gender...which had taken several talks with Aries to come to terms with.

Plus it looked like he had great taste as the man performed some extremely difficult stretches with relative ease.

"Um," he started and then person seized up and gasped, spinning around but tripping in the process. The man was smaller than him, both in height and build, with a wild mop of black hair and a five o'clock shadow on his face. He looked up and Dean was met with the bluest pair of eyes he's ever seen. They were fucking gorgeous.

"Dean?" the person asked, voice soft but a bit squeaky from fear, "W-what are you doing in here?"

"It's a long story." Dean said and the man scrambled up, "Listen, this is going to sound odd but;  _who are you?_ " Whatever the man seemed to have expected him to say, that was not it.

"Don't you remember?" he asked, "It's me, Jimmy."

* * *

 


	7. What Sound

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: This title is a reference to the song What Sound by Lamb. This is a really great song and works well with almost any couple talking about the sound of two hearts beating together (so yes, naturally I think of Dean and Cas).

* * *

Aries was a little nervous, if she had to be honest with herself.

First off, Death wanting to see Dean all by himself was a little suspicious and only confirmed her thoughts on how special he was. And how interested Death was in him. It raised too many questions that Aries was just not prepared to deal with. Second, was the boy she was going to meet. Sam Winchester. Everybody who was anybody knew about the Winchesters, and the trouble they caused. Personally Aries would have liked to have met the elder brother, the one Death had had interactions with, but all she knew about him was that he had died.

Then there was that angel, but that was a whole other can of worms she didn't want to touch. Freaking angels. Worse than humans they were.

"Right," Milo said as they landed on top of a half-finished building, "what are we doing again?"

"I gotta talking to the Winchester kid about some business Death has him doing, but I need to do so privately." Aries explained and she walked across the unfinished roof to look down to the bottom floor that lay exposed. The angel was putting the human in a death trance so he could call to a Reaper, "So you gotta watch the angel, make sure he doesn't follow."

" _Oh is that all?_ " Milo's laugh was high-pitched and breathless, "Distract an  _angel_."

"Just tell him I'm giving them the information that they wanted. Hopefully that'll shut him up for awhile." Aries tilted her head as she looked harder at the angel, his large black wings with slightly ruffled feathers were pulled tightly against his back as he pulled the human boy under. He was nervous. And there was something strange about his Grace, "Hey, does he look odd to you?" she asked her partner, pointing down.

"Not really," Milo said and looked at her, "do I  _have_  to watch him?"

"Yes." Aries deadpanned as she saw the human's soul stand apart from his body and start to shout, "Now let's go."

* * *

"Now listen to me Sam," Castiel warned, his hand hovering over Sam's chest, "you will only have three minutes to call out for a Reaper—"

"Dude you can put me out longer than that—"

"No! Longer than that can result in complications." the angel cut him off, his eyes hard, "We can always try again later."

"Alright, alright." Sam sighed. He was laying down on the ground— _cold_  ground waiting for Castiel to knock him out. Now that they had a book, Death should answer his calls, "You'll still be able to see and hear me?"

"Always Sam," Castiel confirmed, "I can see the spirit world constantly, I just cannot always interact with them."

"Right..." It would have to do for now, "Ok, put me under."

The scary thing is that it was exactly like going to sleep. Although Sam had been "put under" a number of times now in attempting to reach Death, he couldn't ever get used to the feeling. Which was probably a good thing.

And just like that he was awake again. Only this time when he stood up, he left his body behind. Talk about creepy.

"Can you see me alright, Cas?" he asked as the angel stood up as well.

"Yes."

"Good." Sam turned around to the empty building, a bluish hue having fallen over everything now that he was a spirit, and looked up to the unfinished roof, "Hey Death! I've got your book, we need to talk!  _Now!_ "

"Y'know, you don't have to shout." said a voice from behind them. Both angel and hunter whipped around. In front of Sam now stood a young person— _a boy?_ —with a long black coat on and deep green eyes, behind was a taller man with windswept hair and glasses.

"You-you're not Death." Sam growled to the younger person.

"No," they agreed and looked towards Sam's still body, "but I'm the best you're going to get."

"Listen," Sam struggled not to yell, "I don't want to talk to some two-bit Reaper—"

"Shut your mouth!" the man with the glasses yelled, "Ariel is Death's right hand! You'll get no one better!"

"Death has a second in command?" Castiel asked, his eyes narrowing.

"Of course  _angel_." the smaller Reaper tapped their foot impatiently, "Now I have no time for this, I must speak to you Sam Winchester." They strode up to him and Sam relaxed marginally. Finally, some answers.

"Alright then; talk." he nodded but the Reaper didn't stop, walking straight towards him.

"No." Too late Sam saw Castiel try to reach out for him, "Alone." Swirls of black energy came up out of nowhere and swallowed Sam whole, his vision going out and the sensation of falling pulling him under. And this time it didn't feel anything like going asleep.

* * *

"Jimmy... _right_. Jimmy who?" Dean was confused.

Supposedly he was in his mate's soul but when he looked at the man in front of him, nothing really happened. He had always assumed that if he met someone he knew from before, that he would just  _feel_  it. But he felt nothing.

"Jimmy Novak." the man—Jimmy—scratched the back of his head, "We-we only met the once, but wait! How did you get in here?"

"Well, you see—"

"No, wait again!" Jimmy seemed to be trying to recall something, "You...you're dead! That's right, Castiel said that you died." He suddenly backed away from Dean, almost tripping over his bed, "How are you...no  _who_  are you!"

"Whoa. whoa, whoa." Dean held up his hands, "Just calm down buddy, I'm not going to hurt you. Just trying to figure some stuff out. I thought..."

"Thought what?" Jimmy placed the bed between himself and Dean.

"I just, I don't actually know who you are." Dean sighed, "Someone told you I died? Well, I did." He spread his arms, "Became a Reaper."

"You're a Reaper?" Jimmy again looked like he was trying to remember something, "Reapers...Castiel's dealt with them before. You-you interact with people's souls?"

"Uh, yeah, basically." Dean frowned, "But I don't remember who I was before I died. Lost all my memories."

Jimmy didn't look very convinced and Dean couldn't blame him, it was a weak story, even if it was true.

"Then how did you get here?" he asked. Dean shucked off his jacket and started unbuttoning his shirt, "Hey wait!" Jimmy cried, "Wh-what are you doing?" Dean gave him a blank look.

"Answering your question." And he pulled his shirt down to reveal the handprint on his arm, "When I woke up, this was all I had left from before."

"That's..." Jimmy stepped forward, "You  _are_  Dean!"

"Do you know what this is?" Dean asked quickly.

"Of course, that's the mark Castiel left from when he raised you from perdition."

"Perdition?"

"Hell." Jimmy clarified. He seemed more relaxed but still regarded Dean carefully. Dean mulled over the new information.

"Who's Castiel?" he asked.

"You really don't remember anything?" Jimmy asked. He looked down suddenly, "Castiel visits me sometimes, just to check up. You've no idea how devastated he and Sam were when you died."

"Sam?" Dean was more lost than before. Who the hell was Sam?

" _Sam_ ," Jimmy stressed, "your brother?"

"I-I have a...?" Ok, Dean's brain was overloading now. Maybe this was a bit too much for him to handle, it was simpler when he knew nothing.

_Focus! Focus, Dean!_

Right, there was one answer that he needed more than others. He wasn't sure how long he had in here.

"Jimmy," he said, "I take it this is your soul so I'm going to asked you a question and I need you to answer it truthfully."

"Alright?" Jimmy looked slightly hesitant.

"Are we, y'know, mates?"

" _What!_ "

Ok, obviously they weren't partners or anything. Dean felt bad as it looked like Jimmy was about to have an aneurysm.

"Ok, ok. Sorry! Guess not." the Reaper said quickly.

"No! No we're  _not_. I married...sort of." Jimmy held a hand over his chest.

"Sorry." Dean apologized, "It's just I was told marks like these were left by mates—"

"I told you, that was Castiel's doing." Jimmy snapped and Dean gritted his teeth.

"Ok, then why aren't I in  _Castiel's_  soul?" he asked and exaggerated the name a bit.

"Castiel and I are linked together." Jimmy tried to explain.

"Wait, so are you two mates?"

" _No!_ " Jimmy looked horrified at the thought, "Linked not connected—oh here, let me show you!" he grabbed Dean's arm and pulled him downstairs, Dean just barely managing to snag his jacket and put it back on. Jimmy came to a stop and what looked like the front door and yanked it open, "See?"

Dean peered out and saw a small hallway that lead to another door.

"I'm going to guess you have a doorway actually in your room, right?" Jimmy asked. At Dean's startled look he sighed, "I've been in here a long time, picked up a few rules."

"So, you're linked to this Castiel guy?" Dean asked, "...and, that's the doorway to his soul, which I'm  _connected_  to?"

"You're a Reaper right? Why don't you know this?" Jimmy asked, crossing his arms.

"Look man, it's not like there's a friggin' handbook to it." Dean stepped out tentatively, "Can you open that door?"

"I never have," Jimmy answered, "but Castiel told me I could. If there was a problem."

"Do  _I_  count as a problem?" Dean grinned and then slapped himself mentally.  _No flirting!_

"You count as an annoyance," Jimmy scowled but his face softened after a moment, "but not an unwelcome one. It gets...kind of lonely in here and it's nice to see you again. You don't remember, but you saved my family."

Suddenly Jimmy's soul room made sense. I looked like what his family's house must have, but it was too large for one person now. Dean reached up and gripped the man on the shoulder, "Thanks Jimmy." he said and walked over to the other door. Time to find out who this Castiel was.

The door was white, like in Dean's room, and extremely plain.  _This is it._  Dean reached out and turned the handle.

* * *

"What the hell!" Sam spluttered as the darkness receded and he found himself on an empty beach. He stumbled away and turned to face the Reaper angrily.

"What?" they looked unimpressed, "I said I needed to speak to you alone. Death's orders."

"Death's?" That got Sam's attention, "So you're his number two guy?" The person chuckled...in a very unmanly way. Sam felt something click into place.

"Well, I'm not sure about  _guy_."

"Oh ah..." Sam's face flushed bright red, "I-I'm really sorry, I thought—"

"Oh wow." The girl— _woman?_ —giggled even louder, "You  _are_  polite. Glad to see manners aren't dead yet." Sam continued blushing and somewhere in the back of his mind he heard Dean snickering and calling him a girl.

"It's just, your hair and— _my bad_." What a horrible way to start off an important conversation.

"Dude, it's cool." She flapped a hand at him, "Always happens."

And yet Sam still felt a powerful need to apologize.

"So!" the Reaper clapped her hands together, "To business."

"Right." Sam squared his shoulders and held up the book he'd gotten. The fact that he was still able to touch it while a spirit said something, "So this book, I have it on good authority that Death wants it."

"Not quite." The Reaper shrugged, "Who wants a broken book?"

"But then—?"

"That thing you're holding really poses no threat to us." she said and snapped her fingers. The book burst into flames and Sam dropped it with a his, only to realize it hadn't burned him, "Dude, fire can't hurt spirits." she smiled, "Well, unless someone sets fire to your body. Then that's bad."

"So then why have me get this?" Sam growled. He wasn't in the mood for games.

"Because the original book  _is_  a problem." They held up a finger, "As you may have noticed, demons have been translating and making copies of this book, but done quite poorly—although, what can you expect from a demon? Thing is, the original book is quite dangerous and if any demon manages to decode it, or the wrong angel gets their grubby wings on it—"

"Like Raphael?" Sam knew the archangel would somehow try to get involved.

"— _exactly_. Then it's the apocalypse all over again but worse. Erasing souls is just one of the minor spells that book can do, you don't want to know what else there is."

"It allowed Lucifer to control Death." Sam said and he saw the Reaper frown.

"That is  _really_  good authority you have there." she muttered, "Yeah, it was able to control the four horsemen. It can raise the dead, or wipe out the planet, it can summon nearly anything— _including_  the Mother—and can basically make your worse nightmares a reality."

"So Death wants the original book destroyed?"

"Heck no, he wants it back!"

"Back?" Sam blinked.

"Yeah, he created it." the Reaper said then paused, "Well, he  _and_  God wrote it, I suppose. Long ago. As insurance."

"Insurance?"

"Those two have been at their game since before time itself," the girl sighed, "I don't pretend to understand it. Just know this, if Death has the original book, he can destroy the copies."

"Why would I give an all powerful book like this to Death?" Sam asked, "He could just use it against humans then." He didn't expect the Reaper to burst out laughing, so hard she was clutching her sides, "W-what?"

"Haha! You really think you—humans— _Earth_ , are that important to him?" Something stirred in Sam's memory. Dean had said something similar.

"He...could care less about us." Sam stated after a moment, "He just wants the book, he has no plans to use it."

"Finally, the human gets it."

"So all I need to do is track down the book and give it to you?" This was too easy, 'Why can't you do it?"

"Can't see it." the Reaper shrugged, "Not the real one anyway. Part of the game. A human needs to find it. So yeah, you track it down and then call me, I snag it from you and— _poof!_ —a happy ending."

"I don't know about  _happy_ ," Sam glared, "but alright, on one condition though."

"Fair enough."

"Either I get to talk to Death afterwards or you find something out for me."

"Talking to Death is...rare." the reaper looked down into the sand, "But me getting information is doable. What do you want to know?"

"I want to know what happened to Dean Winchester's soul."

* * *

" _WHERE IS HE!_ "

"Please calm down!"

"Where did she take him? You tell me now or I  _swear_ —"

If Milo weren't already dead he'd be scared for his life. As if was he just had an extremely pissed off angel screaming at him. Which wasn't a whole lot better. Aries owed him big time for this.

"Listen, he's safe. Don't worry," he tried to placate. The angel's black hair was about as messed as his and his blue eyes were nearly overflowing with Grace. Thankfully he could not physically interact with Milo's dimension, "Ariel is just talking to him privately. Death's orders! But you're getting the information you need."

This did  _not_  appease the angel.

"Bring him back now! I don't care about the information."

"Then you have a strange way of showing it." Milo snapped, "Listen, they'll be back soon. Just please calm down."

"If Sam's soul is not back in his body in thirty seconds—"

"There's no time limit with us, Ariel will take care of it. She's an Acolyte." This word finally seemed to register and the angel calmed down a bit. Milo breathed out in relief.

"I have your word?"

"Yes, yes. My word. This is important to us Reapers too, you know? Schedules are getting messed up like crazy." Milo shook his head, "It's ridiculous.  _Stupid demons_."

The angel tilted his head, "Schedules?" he asked then gasped, "Wha—?" He dropped to his knees abruptly.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Milo ran up as the angel fell onto one of his hands, the other clutching to the center of his chest. Where his Grace was stored, "Hey! Snap out of it!" Milo shouted shifted into the physical dimension, grabbing his shoulders, " _Hey!_ "

* * *

 


	8. A Falling Star: Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: This title is a reference to the song Cosmic Love by Florence + The Machine. I really must insist that you listen to this song is absolutely wonderful and a tad bit epic. Or at least go read the lyrics.
> 
> This chapter is Part 1 of a longer chapter.

* * *

Castiel couldn't breath. Not that he needed to, being an angel and all. But his chest was tight and his Grace was fluctuating wildly inside his vessel and it  _hurt_. The angel's fingers dug into the ground, the concrete crumbling like dust beneath them, as he tried to control the pain.

_What's happening?_

It felt like something was tearing at the walls of his Grace, trying to get it. And whatever it was it burned like the fires of Hell. In fact, that's what the sensation reminded him of. His time spent fighting in Hell to get Dean, ripping out his own Grace to bind Dean's broken soul back together. Dean's soul— _so beautiful_...

"Snap out of it!" Castiel could hear the Reaper in the back of his mind but the memories of Hell were pouring into his head. Fighting—loosing brothers and sisters— _the screams_ —Uriel laying waste in a way that had awed him— finding _Dean_.

Most souls would blacken over time exposed to Hell, of course most souls were sent there because they were tainted to being with. That had not been the case with Dean's soul. Castiel could still remember running through the fires and torture chambers when a blinding light caught his eye. Dean's soul had been in a corner, frightened of the angel, his soul twisted with self-loathing and guilt but  _not_  blackened. Dean's soul had chosen to break itself rather than become evil.

That was when Castiel had seen the true strength of a human soul. And, if he were completely honest with himself, that was when he fell in love with Dean Winchester.

It was all Castiel could do to gently coax the soul into his arms, the fight still raging around, and piece it back together using his own Grace. The pain had been near unbearable but it had been worth it when he had been able to see Dean in his physical form, alive and well. Green eyes looking at him with several different emotion flowing through. Those green, sometimes hazel eyes, reflected his soul so perfectly.

The memories were over-powering him now and his Grace felt like it was about to burst it was so hot. But there was only one thought in Castiel's mind now,  _he missed Dean so much_.

"CAS!" Strong hands gripped him tight and shook the angel hard. And just like that everything stopped. Castiel gasped as his human vessel's lungs were able to suck in oxygen. The pain and memories releasing their hold abruptly.

"Cas! Are you ok?" Large amber eyes were looking down at him, Sam's face contorted in worry. He must have been put back in his physical form.

"Sam?" his voice was rougher than usual and much more fainter. The angel felt drained.

"What happened?" Sam snapped at the Reaper across from him. The man flinched and raised his hands.

"I-I don't know! He just dropped suddenly and—"

"What did you do!"

"Nothing!"

" _Stop_." The voice came from farther away and the female Reaper that Castiel had seen before came into view, "He did nothing to your angel Sam,  _he couldn't_." This didn't really seem to appease Sam but he nodded anyways and helped Castiel sit up.

"Thank you Sam." he held tight to the young man's shoulder to steady himself as they both stood up after another moment, "How did your conversation go?"

"Well enough," the hunter grunted, "all things considered."

"And now we must go." The female Reaper said as her partner moved to her side, still looking slightly shaken, "You know what you must do Sam Winchester." She snapped her fingers and a black column of darkness swirled around the two Reapers, "A bit of advice; look to where the angels are going." And then she was gone.

Castiel did not like Reapers much, he decided.

* * *

"Man,  _freaking_   _angels_." Milo sighed as he and Aries appeared back in their own dimension. Aries didn't answer and instead strode off at a swift pace, "Hey, what's up?" he called out and ran to catch up.

"It's something the Winchester boy said." Aries replied quickly, her thoughts spinning through her right now, "God, this answers  _so_  many questions! Finally shit's making sense again. Clever bastard, our boss is. Dunno if this was planned or if he just happened and he just adapted that quickly." She was babbling now, "Either option is kinda scary."

"I'm lost." Milo said, breaking out into a sweat.

"Gotta find Dean." Aries ignored him, "If my suspicions are correct, he'll be back by now—ah! DEAN!" she roared and Milo jumped out of his skin as the female Reaper spotted Dean sitting in one of their lounge rooms facing away from them. He didn't move when he was called out to, "Dean!" Aries continued, "I think I might have found out who you were before!"

" _I know_." he said quietly.

"See I was talking to this guy and—wait, what?" she stopped and stared, "What do you mean you know?" The younger Reaper looked up at them, his eyes unreadable.

"I remember."

"Y-you remember everything?" Aries couldn't believe this and yet she couldn't explain why happiness started to bubble up in her, "You know who you were?"

"I know enough..." Something in Dean's voice was wrong, and not just his voice but his eyes and posture.

"So you know who Sam is—"

"Yes!" Aries blinked as Dean stood abruptly and walked away, his shoulders shaking.

"Dean," Aries started out slowly and pulled Milo back as he tried to reach for Dean, "what is it exactly you remembered?" This time when Dean looked at her all Aries saw was a broken man, who's eyes had seen too much of the darkness in people's hearts.

"I remembered Hell."

.

.

_To Be Continued..._

* * *

 


	9. A Falling Star: Part 2

* * *

"I can't talk to him, he won't listen to  _anything_  I say."

Milo watched as Aries paced out in the hallway, her coat swishing silently behind her at every sharp move.

"He's being an idiot!"

Even if Aries hadn't been human for a long time, Milo held the personal belief that she still retained all of her feminine traits. Only women tended to worry this much, and out loud. Men would go on a drinking spree and think by themselves and then do something irrationally stupid. So in his eyes, women were the better gender.

" _Of_   _course_  if the only thing you remember is Hell you're going to think you're a horrible person not deserving of any good feeling, but that doesn't  _actually_  make it true. It's pure fucking logic and he's all acting like..."

Milo was fairly content to just watch Aries pace and look frustrated, because he rarely saw her this way and she was cute when she frowned, but he was also worried about Dean. He was his friend, and he had literally been through Hell.

* * *

Dean's world was drenched in darkness and an echo of screams played out in his mind. When he had gone for that door he had expected several things might happen, but he could have never been prepared to be plunged into fire and pain as memories came rushing back to him, and they  _had_  to be memories. Nothing else could be that vivid.

He remembers the snarl of dogs and the feel of his skin being ripped to pieces. He can remember somebody screaming for him—the name  _Sam_  comes to him. Then he's being dragged deep, deep down, clawing at the Earth around him until he can feel the fire licking at him and the smell of everything rotten seep into him.

_Forty years._

He can recall every minute of it now. He knows how and why he ended up there, although there is no accompanying memory, just the knowledge. It's like Hell was the only thing that was in his life. And the pain of the torture is sharp, Alistair's words whisper in his mind again, and the shame as he broke weighs heavy on him. How could he have ever thought he was a decent person? He was a monster.

He should have never remembered. Should have left well enough alone. Whoever this Castiel was— _still_  nothing came to him about this person—they were better off without him.

"Dean?" Green eyes snap out of their dead stare.

"Leave me alone right now, Milo."

"In a minute." the other man says as he walks up and sits down next to Dean, his ridiculous bracelets and armbands all clanking together, "Just thought I'd sit for a minute."

And so they sat in complete silence. Dean's stubborn and knows if he just stays silent long enough then Milo would leave, because Dean didn't want anyone around him right now. Didn't want to speak, didn't want explanations, just wanted to be alone. Suffer his demons by himself.

But Milo doesn't leave and it's kinda maddening. Dean has the violent urge to punch something.

"You want to know how I died?" Milo asked suddenly and Dean's murderous thoughts derailed. He finally turned to face the other Reaper, if only slightly. He  _had_  always wondered...

"Fine." he huffed, wanting to make it clear he wasn't  _that_  interested, and crossed his arms, "Enlighten me." Milo gave a small smile. The kind he normally only gave Aries and it made Dean more upset, because he, of all people, didn't deserve it.

"I was thirty six," Milo started, "and I worked at Sandover Bridge & Iron Inc. as a desk jockey pushing papers in a cubicle. It wasn't a terrible job, despite what you might think, and the pay was decent. I wasn't really moving up the chain but I didn't have any desire to either, I was just...there."

"No girl?" Dean asked before he could stop himself and Milo chuckled, but it sounded wrong.

"No girl." he confirmed, "Nothing ever seemed to stick, problems always came up. Truth be told I wasn't horribly upset to be single, not if it made my life easier and less complicated."

"So what happened?"

"I woke up one day and realized I had never been happy." Milo said, "Not once, not truly." He sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose, skewing his glasses, "I make it sound dramatic but it wasn't. Just something that came to me when I was pouring coffee into a cup. So," Milo shrugged, "I went to work like normal, put in a hard day's work, hung out with some co-workers afterwards at a club—" he pointed at his outfit and decked out arms, "—and then went home and shot myself in the head."

Dean stared,  _hard_. Not quite able to believe what he was hearing, "So you just up and  _killed_  yourself?"

"I had no family, no close friends, and I wasn't happy. I didn't want to spend another forty to fifty years as I was." The other man seemed unconcerned by his actions, "I was just tired. I had no religious beliefs so I figured eternal nothingness was where I was headed, and it sounded great."

"A-are you listening to yourself!" Dean gave a strangled whisper, trying not to scream. Milo shot him an icy stare, his glasses flashing in the light.

"I know how it sounds and I don't expect you to understand, not many people do. I'm not even saying I was right; it's just what I did. But what  _I_  didn't expect was there to be something after death." His tone switched to bitter amusement, "Ariel told me she has stood over several Reapers when they first wake up here; I was the first that screamed in rage at still being alive, still being aware."

"Irony bitch slapped you." Dean grunted and Milo laughed hollowly again.

"Yeah, that's what I figured. So I begged Ariel to let my soul pass on, to truly die. I didn't want to be a Reaper; I didn't want anything to do with anyone. It's like I said, I just wanted it to be over and I was desperate."

"So what did you do?" Dean asked.

"Not me," Milo gave a crooked grin, "it's what Ariel did."

"Alright, so what did  _she_  do?" Dean rolled his eyes.

"Dean, do you know what happens to the soul of a person who commits suicide?" Milo asked quietly and Dean froze, his mind making the connection almost instantly.

" _Hell?_ " His throat had gone dry and he suddenly saw Milo in a whole new light, "You asked to be sent to Hell?"

"I didn't know that would happen," the Reaper said quickly, "I told you, I had no religious beliefs, and its not that Ariel  _sent_  me to Hell, she released my soul back to the path it would have taken had I not been recruited." There was a long moment of silence as Dean took in everything he had just heard. A question popped up in his head.

"How long?" he asked.

"A month." Milo said and shuffled his body uncomfortably, "Nothing compared to you—"

"It's enough." Dean interrupted quickly. Any time spent in Hell was enough to understand it; there was no set length you needed to stay to get the "full" experience. Memories threatened to overwhelm him again but he pushed them down, "So how did you get out?"

"How do you think?" Milo gave him an obvious look, "I wasn't expecting anyone to come for me, figured this is what I asked for and I deserved it, but Ariel...s-she—"

"She came back for you?"

"Dragged me back here and gave me another chance, said I could make a choice to stay here and do something useful for once or she would destroy my soul."

"Wait, what?" That caught Dean off guard, " _Destroy_  your soul?"

"Give me my eternal darkness," Milo clarified and gave a soundless laugh at Dean's incredulous face, "I know, it threw me off too."

"And obviously you chose to be a Reaper." Dean finished and Milo gave his small smile again.

"I was happy...here." Dean snorted.

"You mean happy with  _her_. I was right, you totally wanna hit that."

" _Shut up, Dean_." They both laughed and something in Dean's chest loosened and he felt a bit lighter. Milo stood up and faced him, "Point is Dean, I understand a bit about Hell and I know what it can do to a person. When I was down there, never once did I think I should try to escape, because that's what it does—that's how Hell works, it makes you believe that you deserve the pain."

Dean swallowed and looked down.

"All I'm saying Dean, is that you don't put too much stock in those memories you got back. Hell is a twisted and warped place, and it's designed to break people. Don't let it break you again."

* * *

"So what the hell happened to you back there?" Sam intoned as they drove in the Impala back to Bobby's. It was going to be a several day drive.

"I am unsure." Castiel answered honestly, still sounding tired, "It felt as through something was attacking my Grace and, if I had to guess, doing it through my memories."

"Memories?" Sam frowned.

"Yes, to weaken my will. I have heard of these techniques before." Castiel tilted his head, "Raphael was known to be quiet adept at them."

"You think its him?" Which would so  _not_  be good.

"No," the angel sighed, "I think not. There is little reason in it."

"Well, I dunno about that." Sam said slowly, keeping his eyes on the road. He still felt Castiel's turn to him though as the angel gave him his patented piercing stare.

"What do you mean by that, Sam?" His tone wasn't dangerous, not yet. Sam still felt like he was being scolded though.

"Well, with that Reaper, she told me what we had to do."

"Find the original book and give it to Death." Castiel nodded, "You said so earlier."

"Yeah but the hint she gave, about the angels—"

"Yes, I was unclear about that."

"—it's worse than we thought, Cas." Sam tried to explain, "This book, apparently it was written by God  _and_  Death. Some kind of insurance against the other, never really meant to be used. Like a Doomsday device."

"I do not know what that means."

"It's ok. Point is, no one was ever meant to get their hands on the book. The power it contains is unimaginable, and what's worse is that angels can read it— _Raphael_  can read it." Sam heard Castiel's sharp intake of breath, "And if he gets his hands on the original then he could easily start the apocalypse again, wouldn't even need Lucifer and Michael."

"So when she said to look for my brothers..." the angel trailed off and looked troubled.

"Raphael's gonna go after the book." Sam confirmed, "But apparently that's good because then we'll be able to track them. You can still feel the presence of other angels, right?"

"Yes, of course." Castiel nodded, "Especially if Raphael is coming down personally to this planet, I should be able to sense him. But how does this help us with the soul issue?"

"That's just it, these books are the reason for the sudden influx of erasing souls. You said before that there were other methods, but they were much slower and no one really used them before, its only 'cuz of this book that angels and demons are seeing them as attainable resources."

"So if Death destroys all the copies and keeps the original to himself, then it will no longer be an issue." Castiel summed up, "Then everything comes down to getting this book before my brother."

"Right." Sam nodded and saw a road sign for a small town up ahead, which was good because he was tired and needed to rest, "I already called Bobby and asked him took look into any possible signs of large angel activity to give us a head start , hopefully by the time we get there he'll have something."

"And then?"

"Then Cas, you're gonna teleport us there. We need this done fast."

"Agreed." The town came into view and Sam started scanning for the first motel he could find.

"If you want, you can go on ahead and help Bobby." he suggested as a dim little place called Route 66 with a flickering sign appeared on a corner and Sam turned into it. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Castiel shake his head.

"I would rather stay." the angel confessed, "If Raphael does make any major move I'll be able to feel it from here and can teleport us immediately. Going to Bobby's is unneeded."

"Of course." Sam smiled. He parked the car and pulled himself out, looking over as Castiel did the same, "But that's not the best part." He added, trying to sound casual. Castiel tilted his head.

"Then what is?"

"I made a deal with the Reaper." Castiel's eyes narrowed.

"Sam..."

"Don't worry," the Hunter waved a hand, "It's nothing damning. I help them and that female Reaper finds something out for me."

"What?" the angel's body went tense.

"She said she could find out what happened to Dean's soul."

* * *

Sometimes, when Dean closed his eyes and went deeper into his soul, down into his room, it would flicker. Instead of his four-poster bed and leather couch he would see instead two small, ragged beds in the style of a motel room with several pictures, notes and maps hanging on walls covered in pealing wallpaper.

There would be a cheap table near a window with a laptop sitting on it, except the screen was always blank, and at the foot of each bed would be duffel bags with clothes and several demon-fighting weapons in them. And, of course, on the opposite side from where Dean would be standing was  _that_  door.

And then it would be like flicking to a different channel and Dean was back in his own nice room.

Had that been his old soul?

"Dean!"

White energy pulsed and crackled around the Reaper as he concentrated all his power to his ringed hand that he had wrapped his rosary around. There was a snap of lightening and his blade appeared, dark and powerful. He felt as a type of jolt emanated from the handprint on his arm— _Castiel's_  handprint—and Dean let the energy coarse through him. Like being chained to a comet.

"Dean, behind you!"

After Dean had gotten past sulking alone in a corner, he had opted to go out and get completely shitfaced, but Aries had taken that off the table with one swift glare made of pure ice. So Dean settled for second best. Sparring.

The shadow-figure tried to come at his back but Dean was too quick, unsheathing his sword and slicing through it with an abrupt spin. From that more shadows rose up and took form and Dean was forced to weave and dodge for a while. It reminded him a bit like dancing, but way more badass as he got to kill things while doing it.

Finally, when the numbers became too great Dean halted in the middle of everything and held up his adorned hand, still holding his blade, and prayed. Well, that was the closest word he could come to describing it. It was like there was an instinctual chant that was in the back of his mind that Dean could call upon whenever he needed it.

And when he did pray—chant— _whatever_ , the room would shake and lights would burst and there would be a blinding light that would strike out and destroy everything in its path. As it did so now.

The shadow figures burst apart and when Dean opened his eyes (because blinding light was  _blinding_ , even for him) the area was empty and silent again.

" _Damn_." Aries whistled from her perch atop a column. They were in a large indoor arena within the Reaper dimension that looked exactly as weird as it sounded, as it was done in the same style as the rest of the dimension: like that of a courtroom building.

Dean relaxed and his blade vanished. Aries hopped down from where she was sitting and walked over to him, "Feel better?""

"A bit."

"You're such a human, Dean. Violence solving everything." Dean shrugged but let a small smile play on his lips.

"Got me." Aries playful mood dropped and she turned serious.

"Ready to talk now?"

"No." Dean huffed and knew he was being stupid and childish but he was a bit embarrassed about his mood earlier, so of course how he acted  _now_  totally made up for it.

_Smooth, dude. Real classy._

"Too bad," Aries crossed her arms and gave him her 'don't fuck with me' face, "because we're going to talk."

"Man, whaddya want to know?" Dean spun around, "I went to Hell;  _it sucked_. End of story!"

"That's just it!" Aries said quickly, "That's not the end, it's not even the beginning—you don't know  _anything_  about this!"

"Yeah, I know. Milo gave me the pep talk, I was being a whiny girl earlier, sorry."

"Don't apologize, Dean." And said Reaper gave his counterpart a confused look. Aries pinched the bridge of her nose, "You remembered  _Hell_ , that's not easy on the best of people, let alone someone missing their entire memory. Thing is, you gotta push harder than that."

"What?" Now Dean was really confused, "What are you talking about?"

"Aren't you curious?"

"About Hell? Fuck no; I know more about that place than I ever wanted to. Now I get why Death wouldn't let me go near it, I'd be happy to never see that place again.  _Ever_."

"Not Hell." Aries sighed, "God, aren't human supposed to be perpetually curious or something?"

"Not human anymore." Dean put on his patented shit-eating grin.

"Go blow yourself, Dean." Aries sniped, "But seriously, you don't wonder about the before and after?"

"Why is this suddenly important?" Dean exclaimed, throwing his hands up, "You've never been that concerned about this before." Instead of answering, Aries just asked another question.

"Why is this suddenly  _not_  important to you?" And damn, it was a good question. One Dean was uncomfortable answering. The younger Reaper glared at the floor, the boring marble floor that did absolutely  _nothing_  to distract him.

"Because..." Fuck, this was hard to say, "Regardless of how worthless Hell made me feel and how much I deserved it, how great of a guy could I have been if I got sent to Hell?" He felt pretty confident about that last part, it made sense. Not even Aries could argue with that, "Maybe its better if I don't remember. I  _like_  who I am now, I...I don't want to find out I was a monster or something."

Silence met Dean after his speech as Aries stared at him with an unreadable expression.

"You're an idiot." she finally said and Dean felt his temper flare, because he'd just  _poured his fucking heart out_ , but she continued, "I get what you're saying, and if it were true, that'd kinda be a noble thing to do. But you have to understand Dean, I've seen you stripped away to your absolute barest—" Dean snorted because,  _yes_ , he had the maturity of an 8-year-old, "—just your soul, no memories."

"So what are you saying?"

"Dude, there's nothing evil about you." Aries smirked and Dean's knee-jerk emotion was that  _no, he was completely fucked up_  and yet she had a point, "If you really were evil to your core...it would have shown. Plus, do you know how you got to Hell?"

"I don't remember before—"

"No, not what you remember, what do you know?" Dean stood there and actually thought for a second. Sam. Alistair and others had mentioned him several times, and also from what he knew, and what Jimmy had told him, Sam was his brother.

"I was there because of my brother—uh, his name is Sam."

"See?" And Aries was smiling like a cat that had just caught a fish or something. Dean was nonplus.

"See what?" he asked.

"Man, you went to Hell out of love Dean.  _Love_. Oh yeah, you're seriously twisted and evil."

"I—what?"

"I did some checking up in the demon records." Aries explained, "Cuz we have to keep tabs on who they're killing an when, and I found your name."

"Me?" Dean felt like his brain was stuck.

"Yeah, Dean Winchester. Who'd of fucking thought?" Dean was a bit lost on that point but let it slide for now, "Anyways, the records say that you made a deal with a Crossroads demon to bring back your brother after he had been killed.  _That's_ why you were sent to Hell, because you saved your little brother, because you  _loved_  him."

Dean stood there, speechless. That was why?  _But, what he had been told in Hell..._

"Hell warps everything," he sighed and a tightness that had been in his chest suddenly released itself. His hand found its way to his necklace and he played with it absently.

"Finally, he gets it." Aries smiled, "You're are and were a good person Dean, don't ever doubt that." Dean felt a blush start spreading across his face and turned his head to the side quickly.

"Uh, no chick flick moment." And Aries giggled at that, "But, y'know, thanks." He scratched the back of his head awkwardly, "Both you and Milo have been trying to cheer me up."

"You're our friend, Dean." Aries said simply and dammit if that didn't make Dean's heart melt a little and feel like a  _total_  girl.

"Thanks." he said gruffly, because he was a manly man. Then a thought struck him, "So, you never answered my question, why is this suddenly important—I mean, for wanting to know the before and after?"

"Oh, right." the other Reaper remarked, "That's because—"

"ARIEL!"

Milo burst into the room without a moment's notice, making both Dean and Aries jump a bit.

"Milo, worst timing ever—" Aries started but the man quickly cut her off.

"It's angels!" he yelled and Dean took in just how shaken he actually looked, "They're launching an assault on us!"

" _What?_ "

Both Dean and Aries shot each other identical looks. Angels had  _never_  actively tried to fight against them before.

"But, I thought we were a separate dimension?" Dean asked.

"We are." Aries seethed as she started walking quickly to the door, "The most angels can normally do is see this place—"

"No." Milo said abruptly, "They aren't attacking our dimension, it's the Reapers down there on Earth! They're attacking all of  _them!_ "

"What!" Aries spun around, horrified, "B-but those can't fight back, they're just doing their job... _why?_ "

"I don't know," Milo cried, "but they're being slaughtered!"

"Fuck!" Aries yelled, "Dean, you're with me. Let's go deal with these bastards. Milo, stay here and recall every Reaper back and send a message to all other Acolytes to get down to Earth and fight."

"But—"

" _Do it, Milo!_ "

"Right." Dean saw the man nod and run off as cold fury raced through him. How dare they attack his fellows, and not even Acolytes but Reapers that couldn't defend themselves and were simply trying to usher souls around so they didn't have to suffer.

"Who the hell do these angels think they are?" he ground out.

"Dead, is what." Aries' eyes were like chips of green ice. Dean had never seen her this angry before.

"We have to save the others." Dean stated and saw the other Reaper's mouth twitch.

"See Dean," she said as darkness crept up and started to swirl around them, "I knew you were a good person. Now its time to kick some ass."

Dean nodded as the blackness enveloped him, feeling the crackle of energy hum beneath him, and he summoned his blade.

* * *

 


	10. The Good Left Undone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: This title is a reference to the song The Good Left Undone by Rise Against. It's a good kinda rough song that reminds me of Dean, and the ending stanza is what inspired this chapter. For your convenience:
> 
> All because of you,  
> I believe in angels.  
> Not the kind with wings,  
> No, not the kind with halos,  
> The kind that bring you home,  
> When home becomes a strange place.  
> I'll follow your voice,  
> All you have to do is shout it out.

* * *

Sam, for a guy his size, was normally a very quick and graceful person, and he was very proud of that fact. However, when his phone started screeching at crazy o'clock in the morning after he had been driving for  _sixteen_  hours straight, it was perfectly understandable that as he flailed for the phone he accidentally tipped over and crashed onto the floor in a tangled heap.

"Ow..." Sam muttered as he still fished around for his cell before grabbing it and looking at the caller i.d., "Bobby, this had better be the most important call you've ever made in your life." And yes, he was a bit snippy when he didn't get any sleep.

" _It the angels_."

"What?" Sam was awake instantly and stood up, the sheets falling to the floor and forgotten, "Are you sure? What's happening?"

"Don't quite know," the older man sounded tired, "but omens just started cropping up outta nowhere. Half my contacts started calling and reporting stuff in the last thirty minutes."

"About what?" Half of Bobby's contacts were  _a lot_  of people.

"Buildings collapsing for no reason, parts of roads being destroyed by nothing, things blowing up, car accidents, but get this—as far as I can tell, its being caused by dead people."

"Excuse me?" Sam paused as he was hastily trying to pull on his jeans one-handed.

"Yeah, before the lightening and explosions, someone died first. Whether by accident or of natural causes and then only afterwards would stuff just go completely to shit. That's actually what caught my notice first, several hospitals around the world have been hit."

"Hospitals?" Something clicked in the back of the young Hunter's mind, "No way... _Reapers_."

"What?"

"Holy shit, Bobby. It's Reapers! The angels are attacking Reapers!" Of course, it made perfect sense. The Reapers wanted the book to lock it away out of sight while the angels, or rather Raphael, needed it to jumpstart the apocalypse again, "No, but wait," Sam paused from his frantic thoughts, " _why_  attack the Reapers? I was told they can't even see the book and from the sound of it, angels are attacking Reapers as they do their job."

"I'm not sure, Sam. But whatever's going on between those two groups, it just got real bad." Sam was about to reply when—

"Sam." The hunter spun around as he heard the sound of wings and found Castiel by the bathroom door with a stricken expression.

"Cas!" he stumbled over to the angel, "Bobby said—"

"Yes, angels are killing Reapers."

"Wait, killing?" Sam's eyes started to bug out with all the information he was getting hit with, "They're  _killing_  Reapers?"

"Yes."

"Why?" Castiel shook his head.

"I am unsure, perhaps as a distraction."

"A distraction? What—wait, Bobby, yeah it's Cas." Sam sighed and ran a hand through his hair, "Listen Bobby, thanks for the info, I'll call you back in a bit. Yeah, bye." He snapped the phone shut and focused back on the angel, "A distraction?"

"Yes, for Raphael." Castiel shuffled awkwardly, as though he excepted to be attack but wasn't sure from where, "If he believes he is close to finding the book then he would want no interference."

"But killing Reapers? Why—"

"Sam, I do not pretend to understand." the angel sighed and Sam felt sorry for him. The poor guy had been through so much the past few years, the hunter wasn't sure exactly how he kept together sometimes.

"Right," the young man said as he finished putting on some clothes, "if the angels really are close to finding the book then we gotta start gearing up, more so if angels suddenly decide we're a nice target as well." Sam started throwing everything into his pack while double checking his weapons, "Tonight's gonna be interesting."

"To put it mildly." Castiel deadpanned. Taking Sam, as always, completely seriously.

"I still don't get it," Sam said as he headed out the door and over to the Impala, "are they trying to provoke Death or something? I mean, killing  _his_ workers? Do they want him to attack and— _oh god_." Sam ground to a halt.

"What Sam?" the angel was by his side instantly. The hunter's face had gone completely white.

"What if they  _do_  want him to attack?" he whispered, "If you're about to get your hands on a book that could injure, possibly kill Death..."

"...you would want to strike as soon as you obtained this weapon." Castiel finished, his eyes hard, "Before the enemy realizes you have it, before they can prepare. Brilliant, as always Raphael."

"And hasty," Sam ground out, "he's never seen Death, he doesn't know what Death can do. Dean said both times he was with him, well—he said he felt more comfortable fighting Lucifer than having lunch with Death." He shook his head to focused his mind, "C'mon Cas, maybe by the time we get to Bobby's he'll have more information."

"Sam—"

Sam turned around and this time it was Castiel who looked pale. He was staring up at the sky, his entire body taunt and practically vibrating with tension.

"It's Raphael. He's here." For a second Sam expected said angel to leap out of nowhere and start attack them when he remember that that was just stupid. This was it. Sam threw his pack into the trunk of the car and grabbed every weapon he though might help. Ruby's blade, the Colt, he even grabbed some holy oil for all the good it might do. He stood up, slammed the trunk, and squared his shoulders.

"Cas," he said slowly but surely, "take me to Raphael.  _We got work to do_."

* * *

Dean's blade sunk deep into the chest of the angel in front of him. The woman, barely more than a girl, fell down as a white light burst from within her. Burnt imprints of wings were left scorching on the ground. Dean would of felt sorry for the host, no more than a devout woman believing she was helping carry out the will of God, but he couldn't be spared as another angel leapt in to attack.

This was going on  _everywhere_.

Dean couldn't understand it. Why were the angels doing this? He had never had too many interactions with them, but besides thinking they were a bunch of pricks who thought too highly of themselves, he had never  _disliked_  them. And they had never shown any outward contempt for Reapers, so why now?

"Dean! Behind you!" The young man whirled violently around and slashed at another angels trying to sneak up. More light and ash.

" _Damn_ , why are there so many?" Dean growled as Aries appeared next to him.

"I've a hunch." she said and flicked her wrist to the Reaper and a human's soul that were huddled in a corner of the hospital they were in, "Go." The Reaper nodded and vanished along with the spirit. Around Dean and Aries were fives sets of wing prints.

"This is the fourth area we've been to where this is happening!" Dean said angrily.

"There's too few Acolytes to be everywhere, even with our time capabilities." Aries sighed and rubbed the bridge of her nose. Dean knew why, the first three Reapers they had found were already dead. Dean had even known one of them.

"Just tell me what's going on.  _Please_."

"Dean, it's—"

Then it hit them. Like a sound where everything else became silent, listening. Except they weren't listening, but feeling. A massive energy had just flooded Dean's senses, something powerful had come to Earth. Terrifying, like ice and death with the force of an unstoppable machine. Complete domination.

"Raphael." Aries breathed.

"What?" Dean's head snapped up, "The  _archangel_  Raphael? He ordered this?" Then that meant every single angel was coming after them, the whole might of Heaven aimed at the Reapers.

Somehow, that should have been more impressive.

"Screw this then, I'm not gonna lose anyone else." Aries looked over at Dean, her eyes unreadable. The young man gave his best devil-may-care smile and felt his sword crackle with energy, "I'm gonna take that sonofa bitch down."

"Dean, are you crazy?" Aries grabbed his jacket and shook him, "It's not our place to deal with him! We protect our own and then we leave, we don't interfere with whatever other business he's got going on. If Death wants this archangel out of the way, _believe me_ , something will already be in the works and he'll get what's coming but until then—"

"To hell with what Death wants right now!" Dean yelled and shook her off, stepping back. He had no idea where this outburst was coming from, but it ran deep. He could feel it, this righteous anger. Angels were killing Reapers, his people, and he could stop it. His mission was clear.

Dean, Soul Reaper and Acolyte, reached out for the raw power of the archangel and with a snap of his fingers, vanished.

* * *

They appeared in a house, old and abandoned by the looks of it, surrounded by angels.

In hindsight Sam really should have known better than to just hop on the CasTram and ask to be taken directly to a nest of angels. Although, from Castiel's surprised expression, it seems like he hadn't known that they would be here either. But that didn't offer too much comfort.

"Castiel." A deep voice said smoothly and the tall, dark Raphael stepped forward from the shadow, "So nice of you to join us, brother."

"But I didn't..."

"What? Sense our presences?" the archangel asked and took another step towards them. Castiel stepping at the same time to stand in front of Sam, who had already leveled the Colt at Raphael and was glaring for all it was worth. Raphael didn't seem to care about either of these actions, "You've been gone for too long Castiel. It is no trouble to hide ourselves from you now, it was very easy."

Sam saw the glint of metal and both Castiel's angel blades dropped from his sleeve to his hands and before he could blink Castiel had thrown himself at his older brother. There was a flash of light and the sound of metal hitting metal and suddenly all the other angels started attacking.

The hunter threw himself to the side and shot the first angel to get close to him. As the bullet his there was a flicker of light from within the body before the angel screamed and hit the floor, Grace pouring out of him and fading in the air. Before Sam could dwell too much on that, three more angels came at him and it was all he could do to flail with Ruby's knife, but while it appeared to injure the other angels it didn't seem to kill them. Even when Sam stabbed an angel through the chest it only laughed and threw him across the room.

"No abomination can kill us!" the angel said as it walked closer to the fallen hunter, "Even if you were holding one of our own blades, only an angel can  _kill_  an angel."

"Then try this." Sam grunted and pulled the trigger on the Colt. At point blank range he couldn't miss and grinned as the loudmouth fell to the floor as well. His victory was short-lived though as another angel appeared in front of and slapped the gun out of his hand. And by slapped it actually felt like Sam's hand was smashed by a car and he yelled in pain as he felt some bones break, rolling with hit so he curled inward, clutching his arm.

" _Sam!_ "

Before Sam could move a hand had grabbed him by the throat and slammed him against the floor, choking him. He grasped wildly with his uninjured hand and lashed out with his feet as his vision started to get dark spots in it. Finally he managed to get a hold of Ruby's knife, still stuck in the body of an angel, and sink it into the arm that was holding him. He heard a cry and suddenly was released, rolling away and gulping in air as he coughed.

"ENOUGH!"

All motion stopped and Sam looked towards the center of the room. Raphael stood over a bleeding Castiel as the latter angel had been forced to his knees, struggling as two other angels held him down. There was a deep gash on the side of his head and his shirt had been torn but Sam was glad he was still alive, although he wasn't sure for how much longer.

"Enough." Raphael said more quietly, "I have won, Castiel." With a snap of his fingers a book materialized his hand. Old and dusty but Sam recognized it instantly, "I have the book," Raphael continued lightly as he leafed through it, "and with it I can go to war not just against Hell, but with Death and his Reapers, with the lower gods, with  _everyone_ —until only we are left. Until there are only angels, and then,  _then_  we shall have paradise again."

"What—what happened to you Raphael," Castiel's eyes were wide, "You used to be Father's most loyal angel, second only to Michael, h-how could you think he would want—"

"HE DOESN'T CARE ANYMORE!" the archangel screamed, his true voice seeping through and Sam gritted his teeth at the pain, "But when there are only angels again, brother, it will be like the beginning! No humans, no evil, just tranquility and peace. Perfection. Paradise."

"You're insane." Sam spat, feeling tired of the angel's rant. God, Dean had been right; angels were just a bunch of pricks with daddy issues.

"You, boy," Raphael's gaze turned to his and it burned, literally. Sam could feel it in his soul and flinched against the wall, "have insulted me with your presence for the last time."

"Raphael, I am the one you want!" Castiel yelled out frantically, trying to get the archangel's attention. But the archangel's eyes stayed on Sam.

"I do want you to submit Castiel," he said slowly as Castiel struggled harder, "I have no wish to kill anymore of us. But you need to be taught a lesson and this  _abomination_ , shall serve well in teaching it. This, brother, is what we do to those who get in the way."

Sam sat frozen as the archangel descended on him, his blade flashing in the sunlight coming from the windows as he raised it in the air and the hunter knew this was it. There was no escape this time and no one would try to bring him back. He would die and maybe, just maybe, he would get to see Dean again.

" _Sam! NO!_ "

Sam closed his eyes and for the first time in his life, felt at peace with himself. Of course, that was when some crazy lunatic decided to crash onto the floor in front of him.

* * *

" _Sam! NO!_ "

Dean found the archangel easy enough as he slid out of his dimensional transport rift, or however the hell Reapers teleported, he'd never quiet figured it out. The only problem was that he had exited several feet from the ground in his haste to get here. On the plus side he got to block the killing blow said angel was trying to deliver to some poor human. So hopefully it just made him look like a badass.

He dropped down right at the archangel tried to strike and blocked easily with his sword before putting his strength behind it and shoving hard, throwing the angel back a good few feet.

"'Sup?" He smirked as he stood and swung his blade to rest on his shoulder. Could he make a good first impression or what? The archangel stared at his with his mouth open, slightly resembling a fish out of water and Dean snorted. This was who Aries said they shouldn't interfere with? The one who had ordered the slaughter of his kind? Bullshit. He was going to end this.

"I'd do the whole introduction thing," he lifted his blade and pointed it at the angel, "but I'm going to kill you in a minute so it doesn't really matter."

Actually, now that Dean took note of his surroundings—Aries said he had to get better at that—there were tons of angels in the room. Some were even dead and one was being held down by the others, his black wings flared out in panic, one looking broken and, wait—

" _Jimmy!_ " Dean gasped as he looked at the vessel of the angel. His jaw hit the floor and that was when the archangel struck. Lightening shot through the air at Dean but he ducked to the side, feeling the sizzle of power as it went past and shattered a window. The human behind him yelped and Dean realized he would have to go one the offensive to protect him.

"Nice try, buddy!" he laughed and threw himself forward. He and the archangel met in a clash of metal and energy and Dean let the power within him rip forward, completely destroying the house and knocking back everyone within a fifteen foot radius...including Dean (yeah, he  _really_ had to work on that). He crashed through the wall and got up a second later, twirling his sword and chuckling like a deranged fool. He'd never fought something this powerful before and it excited him for some reason. Which was dangerous, and stupid. He paused, needing to get a grip, he was here for vengeance and retribution.

"D-Dean?" the voice was quiet and broken and something within Dean stirred. He looked around and his eyes landed on the human he had protected, a young man with brown hair falling in front of his eyes, which were impossibly large at the moment. Dean looked hesitantly around for a second.

"Um, yes?" he said, trying to be polite. Had he said his name? No, he'd had that snappy line about introductions and—

Before Dean could blink he was being swept up into the strongest bear hug he had ever been given. The human was actually a behemoth, having at least four inches on Dean, and his grip was crushing. Dean had never been given a hug before by a human, although he'd never saved a human before, so maybe this was common practice. Still, he hated chick flick moments so he squirmed away after a second.

"Whoa, whoa dude! Personal space!" he said in an attempt to make the human let go of him, as they still clutched his shoulders painfully. This seemed to do the opposite though as they let out a shaky laugh.

"Fuck, it  _is_  you!" they cried and seemed to be on the verge of crying. Dean  _had_ to stop this before the waterworks hit.

"Ok, seriously, I only saved your life. You don't need to get all touchy feely on me." he finally was able to pulled himself away and the young human looked hurt.

"Dean?" he asked.

"Do I know you?" Dean asked and the human's eyes widened and he seemed to be about to say something when his eyes suddenly caught sight of something else and he gasped.

"Cas!" he said and ran past Dean to the angel who had been pinned down by the others. His blast had knocked anyone standing back several hundred yards which was why the human and injured angel were still within the remnants of the house. Dean could sense the other angels stirring and knew the fight would start again soon.

"Cas!" the human yelled again and Dean cocked his head to the side, wondering why the human kept calling Jimmy that. The angel groaned and sat up before going completely rigid and slowly looking up at Dean. Green eyes met unnaturally blue ones.

"Dean?" It sounded like a prayer. And also nothing like Jimmy, but deep and rough as though he had yelled for several hours before this. Still...

"Hey Jimmy." Dean waved, "What're you doing here? And what's up with your voice?" The angel's brows drew together and suddenly widened in understanding and he stood up with surprising speed, walking straight over to Dean, "Whoa, personal space." he held his hands up and the angel stopped, one hand outstretched a few inches from Dean.

"Dean, what's wrong with you?" the human asked, his expression reminding Dean of a kicked puppy and he suddenly felt bad for no reason. Although if Dean thought he felt bad, the angel suddenly looked like he wanted to cry as his eyes scanned Dean's chest, where his soul was.

"D-Dean, I'm—" he couldn't finish and choked on his words, "Your soul it's..."

"Cas, what's wrong?" the human asked sharply. Dean also wanted to know what the Jimmy-angel was trying to say.

"It's empty, Sam. He wouldn't remember— _couldn't_  remember." the angel said brokenly, his hand trembling, "Dean,  _I'm sorry_ , I'm so sorry. If I could—I..." And the angel's eyes were suddenly over bright, the blue even more intense. Dean's mind suddenly clicked and before the human did anything, like crying as well, he snapped his fingers.

"Sam?" he said. What was it that Aries called him?

"Sam...Winchester?" Dean asked and the human's eyes lit up, and Dean's soul clenched as he realized what this meant, "You—we're brothers?" And suddenly something else fell into place and Dean's mind went into overload as something Jimmy said came back to him. It  _would_  make sense. "Which makes you," he caught the angel's eyes, "Castiel?" Dean's hand went to his shoulder where the brand was and the angel's eyes followed closely and Dean knew even before he asked, "Were you the one to give me this?"

Wounded and confused blue eyes met steady and questioning green ones.

"When I gripped you tight and raised you from perdition."

* * *

 


	11. Faith

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: This title is a reference to the song Faith by Natalie Walker on her CD, Urban Angel. Worth a listen.

* * *

Although the house around him was torn to shreds, powerful and pissed off angels were slowly regaining consciousness to kill him, and his memories still refused to come back to him; Dean was pretty happy. He'd finally found the person who had left the mark on his shoulder, this Castiel, which left only one question in his mind to be answered.

"So  _you're_  my mate then?" He couldn't help the stupid grin that came over his face.

The reactions were varied and, since he couldn't actually remember these people, interesting to watch. The young human,  _Sam_ —his brother, jerked back like he had been shocked and stared at Dean as his eyes went as wide as saucers, before whipping his head around to the angel. The angel who, Dean noted, had turned a very dark shade of red and quickly looked away.

"What?" Sam asked faintly then turned to face Dean again, " _What?_ "

"I was told marks like these were only left by mates," Dean tried to explain and gestured to the brand again, "or I guess, whenever a profound connection is made—or some shit like that, I-I uh, can't remember exactly." The human's mouth twitched, like he wanted to smile at Dean's behavior but apparently the whole 'mate' thing was still bugging him and he turned back to the angel.

"Cas!"

"I-It's not important right now, Sam." The more Dean heard the gravelly voice of the angel the more he liked it. And his eyes... _and his wings_. Oh yeah, Dean had good taste. Except the whole 'accountant' attire, what was up with that?

"Yes its important! Were...were you and my brother scre—"

Dean felt before he saw the powerful lighting strike sent their way and grabbed the two next to him and threw them to the side, wincing as the blast ripped at him, although he was able to dodge the worst of it through sheer luck. Time was up, back to the fighting.

"Dean!" he heard the angel— _Castiel_ —call out, but he didn't look over as he had other things to deal with. Like an extremely angry-looking archangel.

"Have fun face down in the dirt?" Dean taunted. The archangel didn't answer though, just tilted his head and studied Dean for a second. Which was so  _not_  creepy as hell.

"A Reaper?" he said after a moment then snorted, "Of course, there's just no easy way to get rid of you Winchesters is there? You're worse than cockroaches!"

"Cool, huh?" Dean smirked, "Guess I'm just that awesome." Without warning he lashed out with his power, bright energy crackling out and making the angels flinch giving Dean time to run up and launch himself at Raphael. They met in a clash of power and steel and it took Dean all of five seconds to realize exactly how in over his head he was. Sure he was doing fine right now, as he flipped back and ducked below one of Raphael's attacks, but he could see the power beneath the archangel. It was still building up, like a train just leaving the station, and Dean knew he'd be no match once the bastard got to full power. Not to mention all the other angel flunkies, thankfully they seemed content just to watch right now.

"Dean! Behind you!" Oh, except that one, he seemed fine with jumping Dean's back. But, Dean was used to fighting multiple opponents. In his sparring matches with Aries, it was what she would always do, and so this gave him an advantage.

He ducked to the side and let the angel tumble past him, using his body to get closer to Raphael, before striking out with his sword. Metal met metal though, as the archangel blocked with ease and Dean twisted back just in time to roll away from a violent blast of power.

"Fine! See how you like this!" Dean yelled and sunk his blade deep into the ground, starting his chant—prayer— _whatever!_ —in his mind. His ring started to glow and lightening traveled from his arm down to it before coming in contact with his sword, where sparks danced and crackled in the air. It surprised Raphael enough to stop his assault and take a step backwards as white energy started pouring out Dean's eyes.

"Th-that...that's impossible," the angel whispered, fear creeping into his eyes, "That's angelic Grace..."

Dean only got a moment to register what he had said before the power became uncontrollable and ripped itself away from him, charging straight for the cluster of angels before exploding and temporarily blinding everyone. And yeah, Dean really had to work on his powers. The whole 'blinding-thy-enemy' thing was really overrated, mainly since it affected him too.

"Ugh, there's got to be a better way to do that." the man sighed and slumped down to his knees. Fights usually didn't go on this long with a Reaper. Mostly it was just— **BAM! WAM!**  "Reaper Ring Power: activate!"—And then everything was generally ashes and dust after that.

Hopefully Dean managed to take a few angels out with that attack, namely Raphael. As his eyesight returned Dean did see a few of the angel's vessels down and out for the count, but not all of them, and not the archangel's.  _Damn_.

"Watch out!" That was Sam's voice and Dean knew he couldn't dodge fast enough this time and braced himself for the blow...that never came. There was a  _whoosh_  of air as two figures collided right behind him and smashed into the ground. Dean spun around and saw his angel— _Castiel_ —literally throw Raphael away from him and back a few feet, his unbroken wing arched dangerously in front of him, as if daring the older angel to come closer.

"Not again." he growled and Dean felt something go through him, " _Never_   _again_. You will not touch him, Raphael!" Dean could see though that Castiel was even more exhausted then he, and injured too, and knew it wouldn't end well if he tried to take on the archangel again.

"You two are not even connected anymore yet still you persist with this disgusting display of emotion, brother!" Raphael yelled, "He doesn't remember you anymore!"

" ** _I don't care!_** " Castiel yelled back, and while it definitely looked like two siblings arguing, it was much darker than that. Whatever these two had once had was long gone, Dean could feel it, and he knew Raphael would kill Castiel now.

"Castiel." Dean said and saw the angel flinch at his voice, pain flash through his eyes, "You're injured, stay out of this battle. I'll take care of him myself." And yes, he was talking out of his ass, but dammit if he was gonna let it show. He was Dean- _fucking_ -Winchester...whatever the hell that meant.

"Dean," the angel turned to face him quickly clutching Dean's branded arm, "I can't let you fight him alo—"

But Dean's hearing suddenly shut off. In fact, everything decided to stop working for Dean. Sight, sound, hearing, everything went black instantly and if he had to guess he probably dropped to the ground like a stone. The instant Castiel had touched him, Dean's entire would got sucked into that single feeling. And then he remembered...

_Everything_.

One would think it would be like how he remembered Hell, but it wasn't even close. It was like watching a TV screen, and as the images came up, slowly the thoughts and feelings would filter through, but painlessly.

He saw himself as a four-year-old patting his mother's bulging stomach, laughing as she told him he was going to be a big brother. He was still four but cowering out in his front yard, clutching Sammy for dear life as the flames licked at his house and the only thought in his head was the last words he would ever hear his mother say, 'angels are watching over you', and he wonders why they didn't save her. He's ten now, teaching Sammy how to pick the lock of a door and his baby brother is watching him with round eyes full of admiration. He's twelve and sneaking into his father's car, pretending to drive the Impala as Sam plays with toy soldiers in the back seat. Fourteen and sharing his first kiss with Sheila Harmony and his palms won't stop sweating.

Everything, all his memories are rushing through Dean now and its almost unbearable but he doesn't want it to stop. It can't stop. Suddenly he's twenty nine and in Hell, and the fire is back and burning at him and he wants to die, to fade into nothing but he can't and maybe he doesn't deserve to. Then he's sees a bright light, too bright, and it blinds him yet he can still see. There's something moving towards him, something powerful and righteous. Dean shies away and it pauses, tendrils of its essence reach out hesitantly and when they touch Dean he flinches but doesn't move back. Slowly the being of light and power moves towards him and as Dean looks—really  _looks_ —at the creature, there's only one thought running through his head:  _you're beautiful_.

And then the onslaught of memories stop and Dean opens his eyes to a cloudy sky, lying on the ground.

For a moment there's nothing but silence. Dean is Dean and he just lays there and absorbs it all. It's as if two worlds came together and instead of clashing and making a huge mess like you thought, they meshed together perfectly and you can't quite grasp how easy that was. That's how Dean was feeling at this moment. He was Dean Winchester the Hunter who was also the Michael's Sword with a little brother named Sammy and a socially awkward angel he calls Cas. Yet he's also Dean the Reaper who was an Acolyte being trained by his best friends Aries and Milo. And everything felt fine.

Dean, and he was truly  _Dean_  now, smiled.

Then all of his other senses came back to life and the sounds of screaming and battle entered into his mind.

_Cas!_

Dean rolled over quickly and took stock of his surroundings. Whatever had happened while he had been out he was somehow fifty feet away from the smashed up little house where flashes of light were bursting from. A few angels that he had killed still littered the ground but the rest were fighting, and he didn't see Cas or Sam anywhere.

Dean summoned up his power, or what was left of it, and slipped out of time and space. Coming around back towards the house just as Raphael was about the deliver a killing blow to Castiel. Dean didn't even think as he threw himself forward and pushed Castiel out of the way, just barely scraping by with a minor slash to the face. They tumbled to the ground as Dean snapped his fingers and let loose the last burst of energy he had, forcing Raphael to dodge and killing the angel that Sam was fighting against.

The Reaper gasped as he fell back down, panting like he was out of breath, even though he didn't need to breath anymore. Didn't matter, they were fucked now with his energy depleted. God, he was such an idiot for rushing in like—

"Dean?" Hesitant fingers touched his face and Dean jerked up, making Castiel flinch away, "Y-you're awake? I thought—"

"Cas!" Dean would later blame exhaustion and the fact that he'd just had a severe mental whammy with getting his memories back, but at the moment he was too happy to care. He'd been searching for so long without knowing what to look for and suddenly there was Castiel. Because of him, Dean had been pulled from Hell and given life again. Because of him, Sam and Dean had been able to defeat Lucifer and save the world. Because of him, Dean hadn't been erased from this world. He had been able to keep a piece of himself, and Castiel had kept the rest for when he returned.

So Dean did what, in his defense, any man who had just been given his life back would do to the first person they saw. He kissed Castiel. And yes it was short and chaste but it was a kiss. And Dean didn't care in that moment.

"Dean!" Sam was running up to him.

"Sammy!" Dean was up in a second and returned Sam's earlier bear hug tenfold, stunning the younger man. At his confused look Dean gave his patented shit-eating grin, throwing on his classic Dean charm for all it was worth, " _I remember_."

"Dean..." His brother looked like he was about to cry and Dean was about to wave around his 'no chick flick moment' statement when something grabbed the back of his jacket and threw him back through the air.

_Crap, Raphael!_

Dean hit the ground with a thud and skidded to a halt, standing up almost immediately afterwards, only to have his knees buckle and force him to drop back down. Yeah, he was all out of Reaper mojo, nothing left for it now.

"Always you interfere!" Raphael screamed, his true voice leaking through and making Sam wince. Dean was immune to its effects but he  _was_  very intimidated by three giant sets of wings flaring out from the archangel, his last two lackeys flanking him and getting ready to charge. Dean swallowed and tried to summon his weapon but, as he suspected, nothing happened.

Great, he got to die... _again_.

"Dean, run!" He couldn't tell if that was Sam or Cas but it didn't matter, Dean couldn't run and Raphael knew it. He flicked his wrist and all three angels charged at Dean, blades glinting in the sunlight. Dean braced himself and prepared for the worst, until something black caught his eye.

Suddenly darkness erupted everywhere, forming a massive cloud. A tendril of it snapped and latched on to one of the lower angels at Raphael's side and dragged him screaming into its depths. The remaining two angels turned their attention to the cloud, darkness tumbling out of it like water, but seemed unsure of how to attack.

There was a loud snap accompanied by an unearthly scream and a flash of light and Dean knew the angel pulled in was now dead. All hell broke loose as Raphael and the other angel attacked wildly with lightening but it didn't seem to affect the cloud as it shot out more tendrils. Finally it caught the other angel and pulled him in effortlessly, resulting in another snap and scream light show.

Raphael finally fell back and Dean got to see for the first time  _true_ fear cross his normally blank face.

"That's impossible!"

The blackness started to swirl then as it moved forward, towards the archangel. A piece detached itself from the main body and slowly formed itself into the shape of a person, a long black coat finally coming into form around that of a young teenage girl with short windswept hair and dark green eyes.

"Aries..." Dean breathed, relieved. The older Reaper moved forward towards the angel, eyes stormy and face cold. The darkness still whipping around her feet and coattails.

"You can't kill me!" Raphael screamed and Dean really wished he'd stop saying that. The remaining darkness started to form in Aries' hands and she twirled it above her head. An slightly larger than normal scythe appearing in her hands, the kind most people thought of when they heard the words Grim Reaper, "Only an angel can kill another angel!"

"Death can kill anything." Aries said and without hesitation sliced off the archangel's head. There was a second of only silence and then the world erupted in a brilliant and painful light and— _dammit Dean was tired of getting his vision blown out!_

Another moment of nothingness before Dean's sight came back and where Raphael had once been there now lay a burnt out body and several imprints of wings on the ground. Oh, and a small crater as well, but Dean thought that was overkill.

_Wait_ , wasn't Sam over there?

"Sam!" Dean called out, suddenly panicked. He and Cas could survive that but if Sam had been caught in that blast—

"Here." Another voice chirped and Dean spun around to see Milo standing behind him with a dazed-looking Sam. Milo gave a shy grin, "Had to pull him out so he wouldn't get caught in the blast." Dean had never wanted to hug Milo so badly as he did that instant. Sam finally seemed to shake himself out of his stupor, probably from his first time riding the Reaper Train, and his eyes locked on Dean.

"Dean?" he cast his eyes over to Raphael's body.

"Yeah," Dean answered his unasked question, "it's over."

* * *

 


	12. Fly Me to Nowhere

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song: This title is a reference to, and taken from the lyrics of, the song Mercy by One Republic. Look it up, it's a great song for this chapter and kinda for this story. At least read the lyrics

* * *

Dean had saved the Earth several times before, but he had to say that this time probably ranked number one. Mainly because no one died. Well, technically he'd died but that was quibbles.

However, as Dean had learned long ago, no Earth-saving venture was complete without—

"Dean, you're a fucking idiot!" Without a good yelling out by someone he was close to. Normally it was Bobby or Sam doing this, but now it was Aries' turn he supposed, "I mean just up and leaving to go fight an archangel— _an archangel!_ —in the middle of an assignment, against orders and then..."

Ahh, good times.

It actually felt kind of nice to be yelled at like this, let Dean know someone cared. Still, there were more slightly pressing matters to be attended to.

"Sammy, you ok?" he asked, ignoring the ranting Reaper in favor of checking on his little brother whose hand was swollen and twisted at a weird angle.

"Yeah, yeah it's just broken." Sam gave a tight smile. He'd sunk to the floor after Milo had transported them and seemed content to sit on the ground and stare, which Dean attributed to the adrenaline and shock.

"Yeah, hitting angels are like punching brick walls, I speak from experience." Dean grinned, but couldn't cover up his concern completely.

"I didn't punch an angel, Dean." Sam took on an annoyed tone and switched to Bitchface #2, his 'don't be stupid Dean' one, "It...well, the angel hit me. I know not to hit them though." he continued quickly, "I saw enough times when you and Cas got into your hissy fits to know better than that." And Dean's nerve was effectively ticked.

"Bitch." he responded automatically.

"Jerk." Sam gave and they both paused and looked at each other, grinning like idiots. Of course Sam had to ruin the moment by getting misty-eyed and pulling Dean into another bone-crushing hug.

"So..." there was a cough from above and Dean looked to see Aries and Milo standing next to them. Aries looking like a cat who'd just caught a fish, "I guess you remembered?"

"Yup!" Dean said, "Because I'm just that awesome."

"Right, it has nothing to do with the fact you came into contact with your mate." Dean was about to give a smartass response when something in his mind clicked.

"Oh crap, Cas!" he spun around and searched frantically with his eyes but Castiel was still crouched in the same place Dean had left him in...after kissing and— _oh god._  Still Dean bounded over, "Cas! Are you alright?" Which was stupid to asked because the angel was covered in gashes and one of his wings was clearly broken but Dean babbled when he was nervous or scared.

His voice seemed to snap Castiel out of his stupor and the angel jumped when Dean grabbed his shoulders.

"Dean?" Like he still didn't believe Dean was real.

"Yeah, it's me." the ex-hunter smiled.

"But your soul..."

"It—" Something struck Dean then, he had been able to retain part of himself when he should have been destroyed because of Cas, and now he was here, complete again because of the same angel. What had Dean done to deserve someone like that?

"You gave me back my soul." he said after a minute, his face serious, "Thank you." He wasn't sure he had ever said those words to Cas before, he was glad he had the chance to now.

"Which is great." Aries piped up from the back, "But we can't stay any longer."

" _What?_ " Sam and Castiel voiced at once. Castiel's hand immediately went to Dean's arm where his mark was and something warm bubble in Dean's chest at the touch.

"We interfered in something we shouldn't have." Milo explained, looking both cross and nervous at the same time, "We must report to Death, before he  _calls_  us back."

Calling. Dean had heard of it a few times, it was never a good thing if Death had to drag you back to his realm. He'd rather avoid it if possible.

"He's right." Dean sighed as he stood up, Castiel following suit. Although he wavered once he did and Dean had to steady him for a second.

"Dean, wait." Sam started, "You don't—"

"Yes I do Sam," Dean cut him off gently, "I-I'm not human anymore Sam, different rules apply to me. Death wants me back? I go back. End of story."

"We'll talk to him," Aries said quickly, turning to Sam, "I'll explain what happened."

"And then what?" Sam asked, "If you're a Reaper now Dean, that means you can't stay here, right? You've got to go a collect people souls."

"Basically." Dean admitted, leaving out the part that he actually killed people and jumped through both time and space. The end result was the same. He couldn't resume being a Hunter with Sam anymore.

"He could visit you during his vacations." Milo tried but Aries smacked him over the head and he shut up.

"Dean, you can't go again." Sam pleaded and God help Dean, his baby brother was pulling out the puppy dog eyes. Unfortunately, not even that could help and Dean felt something tug at his soul. Gently, but with a warning in it.

"Dean." Aries said and he nodded.

"Sam, I'll try to come back, I swear, but I can't stay any longer." he said and his brother's shoulders slumped. He gave him a quick hug and turned to Castiel to say something but they both just looked at each other and Dean found himself simply focusing on small detailed of Cas. His eyes, the way his trench coat moved with him, his windswept hair, chapped lips. Everything Dean had noticed on other people throughout his time as an Acolyte he found here on Castiel.

He saw Castiel open his mouth, but nothing came out either. So they both just stared at each other until Dean felt the pull again, sharper this time, and let himself be overtaken by the feeling and swept away back to his dimension.

* * *

"You're both idiots." Aries said as soon as they materialized. Dean huffed and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Shut up."

"So that was your...brother and your mate?" Milo asked and Dean belatedly realized he'd been left out of the loop on Dean's former life and that everything back there must have seemed really odd to him although it seemed like Aries had filled him in somewhat.

"Yeah, that was my brother Sammy and Cas and I, we-we're not actually mates. I'm just his charge and he saved me from Hell—"

"Right, 'cuz there was  _no_  sexual tension between you two." Aries snorted, "I swear, I've never seen more obvious eyesex between two people."

"We weren't having eyesex!"

"I'm afraid I must agree with Ariel here—"

"Oh don't even get me started on you Milo!"

"Hey—!"

" _Excuse me._ "

All three Reapers stopped talking instantly and broke out into a cold sweat. They slowly turned around and saw behind them a large, lavish oak desk with papers neatly folded on top of it with who but Death sitting at it. His eyes seeming empty and icy at the same time and Dean decided he would rather have another round with Raphael than be here.

"Sir." All three responded.

Death turned his gaze away from them and slowly started picking through the papers in front of him, making notes and reorganizing as Dean felt like he was going to have a heart attack with all the tension in the room. The completely silent room where nothing, not even the papers, made any noise. It was very disconcerting.

"Sir, I—" Dean started after he couldn't take it anymore but Death held up a finger and shook his head.

"Not yet Winchester, I'm not finished." And he went back to his papers, leaving them all standing there ramrod straight, waiting.

Maybe it was because Dean still hadn't learned how time passed in this dimension but he was being driven slowly mad, which he assumed was part of Death's plan but damn if he was just going to stand there and take it. After another minute of waiting, Dean had had enough. Consequences be damned.

"I'd do it again." he said simply.

That paused Death and Dean was fairly certain he'd just ended his life—or death—with those four words. Still, he had no regrets this time.

"Would you now?" Death intoned dangerously. Aries made a move as if to speak but a piercing glare from Death shut her down and he turned his attention back to Dean, who squared his shoulders and prepared for the worst.

"In a heartbeat, sir." he responded, "Those angels were killing us and had to be stopped, and now that I remember, Raphael was a total dick and deserved it."

There was another long bout of silence.

"I see." Death finally said, "Aries?" Dean was confused but Aries seemed to know what he was talking about and stepped forward.

"The younger Winchester kept his promise." she said and placed a book upon the table. Dean was unsure when or how she had gotten it but apparently it had something to do with Sam. Which bugged Dean but since his brother wasn't dead he wasn't going to push right now.

"Thank you." Death nodded and turned back to Dean, "You remember everything now?"

"Yes?" Dean raised an eyebrow, wondering where this was going.

"Then you are truly unique. Tell me Dean, what do you think of your powers?" A thought suddenly clicked in Dean's mind as something Raphael said came back to him.

"My power...Raphael said it was Grace." Looking over Dean noted that Milo was looking at him in shock while Aries merely nodded to herself, as though she had come to a similar conclusion. Death gave smile.

"Your power has been infused with Grace, yes. Making it more developed than most Acolytes at your stage and far more deadlier to numerous beings."

"I see." Dean lied.

"No, you don't." Death didn't even blink, "But you will, one day. There's plenty time enough for that."

"What does this have to do—"

"It means, Winchester, that I'm willing to make a deal with you." Everyone's gaze snapped to Death and Dean heard Aries' sharp intake of breath and he had to agree. Death never did this.

"What kind of deal?" Dean was understandably wary.

"A compromise of sorts. I know you Dean, and I know how much family means to you. So I know that as soon as you get the chance you will try to see your brother again and attempt to travel with him. You believe you can protect him much better now, and you are right. However, this would disrupt far too many things for my liking."

"So what are you saying?"

"Simply this: I let you go back to Earth and stay with your brother until his natural time comes and he passes on. After that you come back up here and become my protégé."

"I..." Dean was stunned, "You're what? Like your second?"

"No. no." Death said mildly, "Aries right here is my second—" Dean's looked over at Aries, not having known that, but she refused to meet him "—and I would never dream of replacing her. No, I would train you myself and when the day comes, you would replace me."

"Replace you?" This time it was Milo who spoke up, looking like his heart was about to fail him, "You mean, Dean would become Death? Y-you've chosen?"

"Yes." Death made it sound like they were talking about the weather for next week.

"What about Cas?" It was important to Dean, even if he didn't feel like examining why.

"He's an angel. If you show him the way here, he can always come to visit. He can't really interact with this place besides seeing it, so his presence won't bother anyone. Besides, for an angel, he's oddly sensible. I can see why God keeps bringing him back."

And so Dean was given a choice. A massive one that would affect the rest of his existence and impact him in a way he could not possibly know yet—

"Deal."

"Excuse me?" Both Aries and Milo shared matching expressions of disbelief. Death, however, seemed to have expected as much.

"I always liked you, Dean Winchester. And now you know why."

"Well," Milo said, "I'm just going to go out into the hallway and have a heart attack, 'scuse me."

"So dramatic." Aries sighed and turned to Dean, "So impulsive."

"That's me." Dean grinned and watched as the older Acolyte trailed after Milo. He turned to Death again, "You're really letting me do this? Let me go for several years—decades hopefully?" Death spread his hands wide and gave his eerie grin again.

"Linear time is not an issue to me."

"And Cas? You're cool with him, even though he's an angel and they just killed a bunch of Reapers?"

"He's interesting. And you two are bound together in a very profound way."

"So I've been told." Dean nodded and turned to follow Aries. When he was gone the room went back to being unnaturally silent and Death went back to his paperwork, but he still wore his grin. One that was wide and showed more teeth than necessary. One that did not reach up to his blank, dead eyes.

"Besides," he murmured, "I'm sure God will need a replacement of his own."

* * *

Sam winced as Bobby wrapped up his hand loosely in gauze as they sat in his living room, "Ow. OW."

"Quite yer bitchin' ya idjit." the older hunter snapped, but with no real heat behind it, "Why can't we just wait for Castiel to patch you right up?"

"He was barely able to transport us here without collapsing Bobby." Sam said, "I think he's injured worse than he's letting on and needs to focus on healing himself."

"Alright, alright." Bobby sighed and sat back, "I just hate goin' to hospitals, damn doctors can't do nothing right."

"It's only temporary Bobby, once Cas has healed himself and is back to full strength he can finish healing me up, but I need to get the bone set now."

"I know, just me being worried is all, let's get going." They both stood up and Bobby walked to the front door while Sam moved to the stairs, looking up towards the bedroom he knew Castiel was in, meditating or something.

"Cas! We're going to the hospital now, I'm not sure how long it'll take but I'll call when we're on our way back."

"Thank you, Sam." Castiel responded, although his voice sounded weaker than Sam would have liked. The young man sighed, and resolved himself to talk to the angel when he got back. It couldn't have been easy to see Dean again, it hadn't been for him, and unless Sam had been knocked harder on the head than he thought, he had totally seen Cas and Dean kissing out there.

God, there was way too much drama in his family.

* * *

Dean slowly stepped out of his transportation rift and into normal space, but he didn't let time resume. Instead he took a moment to survey the room around him. Old, dusty, piled with books a various weapons. Yep, no place like Bobby's.

And so much for the big reception, no one seemed to be around. Dean had been sure Cas would've transported here first thing after the battle. Looking out of the front window though, Dean saw that Bobby's car was gone. Why?

Then Dean felt a presence upstairs. Familiar and warm.

"Cas." he couldn't help the smiled that lit his face as he climbed the stairs. The smile fell, though, when he got to his room—or rather, the room he normally stayed in when at Bobby's—and he saw said angel. Castiel was sitting on Dean's bed, cross-legged, and in apparent deep meditation. But he was still covered in cuts and blood and his wing stuck out at an odd angle and Dean realized it must have taken everything for him just to transport Sam back here.

Dean stood a moment longer, unable to help himself as he stared at Castiel's wings. Even battered and broken he'd never seen anything more beautiful. Glossy black feather with hints of midnight blue shinning through in the light, he wanted to run his fingers through them. Dean shook himself after a moment and finally decided to man up and step out of his separate time stream, joining the Earth's natural one. Castiel, of course, sensed him immediately and jumped a foot in the air.

"See, not so fun when people pop up outta nowhere." Dean couldn't resist teasing Cas for all the times he'd gotten the jump on Dean.

"Dean!" Castiel gasped and scrambled off the bed, "Y-you, you're back! But you said—"

"Death cut me some slack." Dean shrugged, "Have to report to Aries every once and awhile, and if its convenient, do a little reaping on the side but otherwise I'm back."

"As in?" Castiel stepped closer, head tilted and Dean knew he was more curious than attempting to invade Dean's personal space.

"As in, to stay." he smiled and was more than a little surprised when Castiel matched his smile with a small one of his own.

"That improves my mood greatly." the angel said and Dean couldn't help but laugh at his wording. God, he's missed Cas. Missed him even before he had died, he could remember.

"Glad I could help with that." And he turned up his charm without really meaning to, "And thanks for looking after Sammy while I was gone."

"I knew it's what you would have wanted."

"Then you know me well."

"Actually," Castiel bowed him head suddenly, "I doubt that very much. You have been thanking me over and over again but you should not."

"What? Why?" Dean asked, alarmed and ducked down to meet Castiel's eyes.

"Dean, it is my fault you died in the first place. You shouldn't be thanking me, I should be begging for your forgiveness!"

"Cas—"

"I left you, Dean. After Lucifer, and I shouldn't and I never apologized for doing so!"

"But—"

"And then I distanced myself from you, causing you more pain. It hurt you and when you're hurt you lash out and so whenever we met you would be angry with you but I didn't understand and so I would be short with you and only hurt you further."

"Wait—"

"And then I stopped watching you all together! Didn't even help get Sam's soul back! Used you two—put you in danger!—just to get a few weapons to fight against Raphael. Then, when you needed me the most, I was too late! And—" Castiel was working himself up into a frenzy and Dean had only seen the angel like this once before when he had confronted Dean about saying yes to Michael. Thankfully there were no flying fists this time but that seemed even worse and Dean was able to fully observe what the angel had been going through since he died. And it broke his heart.

"Cas." he tried but the angel kept ranting, looking ready to cry, "CAS!" This time Dean grabbed his shoulders and shook. That got the angel to stop, "You-you've been feeling that all this time?"

"You were my charge, Dean...and my friend. I should have never left you the way I did." The angel finally seemed to have run himself out and slumped in Dean's hold, so that Dean was forced to move him back to the bed and sit him down on it, crouching next to him.

"I was an idiot Cas." he started, "Yeah, maybe you left me at a bad time but that doesn't excuse my behavior for when met up again. You were fighting and killing your own family and I was telling you to forget it like it didn't matter, and that was really insensitive of me and crap..." Castiel head perked up at this and Dean ran his hand over his face, "...dude, we're having a heartfelt girl talk." There was a pause.

"It that bad?" Castiel asked seriously and Dean chuckled.

"I guess not but my manliness and taken a severe beating with all the hugs and apologies and thanks so how 'bout I say we were both stubborn idiots and we both forgive each other?" Castiel tilted his head again and stared intently at Dean, who nearly took no notice of it he was so used to, but simply held the angel's gaze.

"I would like very much." he replied after a minute.

"Awesome." Dean sighed, "That actually makes me feel a lot better. Actually, I do have one question Cas."

"Yes, Dean?"

"Why did you give me the same mark you'd give a mate?" It was a bit funny, now that Dean could appreciate it fully, to watch Castiel's face turn completely red. And, being completely caught up in the moment, Dean took off his jacket and unbuttoned his shirt to show the angel, "Milo said this mark comes into being when two people are connected at the most profound level, deeper than that of saving one person on the orders of a father. And there's this door, in my soul."

"A door, you have one too?" Castiel asked quickly.

"It won't open, but it's always been there. Not like Jimmy's, where's there's a hallway between doors but like a door connected to my room."

"You...spoke to Jimmy?" Castiel frowned.

"Yeah, was in his soul. Was aiming for yours but missed."

"I see."

"So, you have a door too then?" Dean asked and Castiel flushed again, "Somehow I think you already knew that, though."

"I'm sorry Dean, when I found your soul it was badly damaged and the only thing I could think of was to bind my Grace to you and—and..."

"And what?" Castiel looked up at Dean with completely honest and open eyes.

"And when I saw your soul, I fell in love with you." Dean's breath caught in his throat and his chest contracted painfully. He'd never heard those words spoken to him with such raw emotion behind them and never had he believed them so firmly as he did now. Maybe he didn't deserve it but...no, no maybe he did. All his life and even death he had been fighting and giving and never receiving, and not just him but Castiel too. Both had only ever given, maybe it was time they got something back.

"Cas..." And of course now this throat had to choke up so that he couldn't speak. Oh well, actions speaking louder than words and whatnot. Dean decided to kiss Castiel again. It was faster this time, though, and with much more passion. And Castiel responded instantly, both hands grabbing Dean's shoulders, and opening his mouth slightly. Which Dean took full advantage of and slipped in tongue in, fully exploring the angel's mouth and making them both groan.

Dean pushed Castiel back until he was lying on the bed underneath him, looking flushed and panting. Dean bent back down and started kissing his angel's neck, first softly then more aggressively, nipping with his teeth and making Castiel writhe underneath him, clawing at Dean's back.

"Dean!" Castiel gasped and buried his face in Dean's shoulder as Dean's hand snaked under the angel's shirt and found a nipple, tweaking it and making Castiel jump and moan. God, Dean was so hard and they'd barely done anything yet.

Growling he pushed Castiel back and ripped his shirt open, knowing the angel could fix it later, and set to work on his chest. Licking gently over the wounds he came across and biting at the nipples, blowing across them afterwards and making Castiel trembled. Dean started working lower then, mouthing his way down across Castiel's chest to his stomach and finally to his groin, where he could see his pants tenting from his erection. Grinning Dean planted a kiss on the hardness and felt as Castiel arched to the touch, gasping. His gasp became pained suddenly and he flinched away, rolling to his side. Dean drew back instantly.

"Cas?" he asked worriedly, "Is something? D-did I—"

"It isn't you." Castiel assured him quickly, and sat up. Wincing again, "My wing..." he trailed off and Dean looked up to the one wing that was disheveled and twisted oddly and felt like a complete jackass.

"Oh God, I'm so sorry Cas, I totally forget and I hurt you." he was babbling like he did when nervous or scared. Castiel seemed to sense this and only smiled, stopping Dean by kissing him. It appeared the angel was a quick learner.

"I do not blame you Dean, I had forgotten as well. I—we, I want to continue with what you were doing, it felt...very good."

"I hope so." Dean smiled and leaned his forehead against Cas', "But, you should heal first. I don't want to hurt you Cas and what we were doing...it gets pretty, uh, intense. Especially the first time."

"I see." The angel almost looked like he was pouting and Dean found it adorable—uh, cute—no, sexy. Yeah,  _ruggedly_  sexy, because he was a manly man dammit. He still kissed Castiel against, couldn't help that.

"How long do you need to heal?" he asked.

"I first need to restore my power, then I can heal myself instantly." the angel sighed, "The meditation will take some time, though. I used up everything in the fight against Raphael."

"Preaching to the choir." Dean agreed and saw Castiel tilt his head quizzically, "Can I stay with you until you finish, or do you need to be alone?" he tried not to let it slip through how much he wanted to stay.

"I would very much like you to stay." Castiel said and looked nearly as desperate as Dean felt, "I find I am very uncomfortable letting you out of my sight right now."

"I'm uncomfortable thinking about being out of your sight." Dean grinned, relieved.

"It will help, in recovering, if you would allow me to reestablish our bond." Castiel said, fingers brushing over Dean's shoulder where his mark was an making the Reaper shiver, "I-if you want me to, I would understand if you're not ready—"

"Do it." Dean said without hesitation, "I want you to be a part of me again." He saw Castiel's eyes light up in a way then that he hadn't seen since the day they first met. Sparks and wind swirling around them as Castiel's unnaturally blue eyes met his, shining with some unknown force as he looked at Dean and spread his wings.

Dean felt his hand move on its own accord and gently stroke Castiel's undamaged wing, making the angel gasp and then moan, "I-I would like to be a part of you again as well." he stuttered and gave a small whine when Dean's hand moved away.

"Then let this meditation thing begin." he grinned and both laid down on their sides, facing each other. Castiel on his good side and Dean on his right, so that the should with Castiel's mark was showing, "Will you stay this time after you heal?" Dean asked, "Or do you need to go back to Heaven?"

"I will stay for as long as you desire, Dean." Castiel answer as he placed his hand over the mark.

"Even if its forever?" Dean felt the warmth in his chest again and put his hand on Castiel's chest, over where his Grace was.

"Always." Castiel promised and both Reaper and angel closed their eyes.

Dean went deep into his soul, which hadn't changed much even after getting his memories back, but something felt different. He turned and went over to the locked white door and this time, when he turned the handle, it opened.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The End. :)
> 
> Hope you enjoyed. Thanks for reading!


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